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Not until I watched the life leave the man responsible.
“Does that mean my apartment is still there?”
Why was it that every question she asked was combative, waiting for me to say the wrong thing? “Yes, Isabel. I paid the rent and utilities. Maybe some small part of me believed I was living in a nightmare.”
The touch of her hand against my back brought a deep sigh to my lips. “I need some clothes and toiletries. Makeup. Girlie things. Can I at least have one of your men take me there to pick up a few items?”
Her huff when I didn’t answer right away shouldn’t have made me smile. But it did. “No, but I’ll have one of my men pack a couple suitcases. You can tell him what you’d like.”
“You’re going to send one of your men to go through my personal items including my underwear drawer?”
She knew exactly what to say to me to stop me in my tracks. I poured the coffee, forgetting about cream and turned around to face her. “I see your point. I’ll pick up a few items. Am I allowed to see your intimate things?”
As she rolled her eyes, the quiet moment gave me some sense of hope. “Fine. I’ll text you a list. Oh, wait. I no longer have a phone. Or identification for that matter. That was taken from me in the fire.”
“That can be handled.”
“Who are you afraid of learning we’re alive since the bad guys already know?”
“It’s just for a few days and I already told you why.”
“So no phone either.”
She was intent on trying my patience. “I’ll pick one up later today as well.”
“I’m surprised you trust me with being able to use a phone all by myself.”
I grabbed her waist, pulling her close. “What am I going to do with you?”
“Papa. Do I get a redo?”
Mina had perfectly bad timing. Isabel grinned, offering one of her questioning looks as to how I would get my ass out of this snafu. “A redo?”
“My birthday party. Don’t I deserve to have one?”
Isabel and I studied each other for a few seconds. This was my cue to try to bridge a gap and build a stronger relationship with my daughter. As usual, my beloved Isabel was right. I headed toward the table, pulling a chair closer to Mina. After I sat down, I gathered her into my arms.
“You deserve to have everything you want in your life, my sweet girl.”
“Everything?” she asked while peering up at me. Maybe I hadn’t wanted to look her directly in the eyes because I felt like I’d failed her. Now, in doing so, I could see a million questions and a wall that was being built brick by brick.
“Everything. Birthday parties. Holidays. Time with friends. School.” Dear God, how was I going to tell her that her teacher had been killed?
Mina was accepting of what I’d said, but there were so many questions. We all had them. “I was a brave girl, Papa. Just like you taught me to be.”
Isabel’s slight gasp only reached my ears, but it was another dagger driven into my heart. “Oh, my baby girl. I was so worried about you and I have no doubt you were brave. I just wish you hadn’t needed to be. I would have done everything in my power to keep you safe and I’m so sorry, honey. I am so sorry.”
“Papa. Why are you sorry? You didn’t hurt us. Izzy told me at least once a day. She said you’d come save us and you did. Just like Spiderman.”
“Spiderman, huh?” Hearing the crack in my voice, I forced myself to look away for fear of my daughter seeing tears in my eyes. Goddamn it, I was furious, enraged that I couldn’t be the man she needed.
“He’s brave just like you.”
“What about Isabel? I heard she was your guardian angel all over again.”
She tipped her head toward Isabel, nodding very slowly. “She kept the monsters from hurting me.”
Isabel tried very hard to keep from looking into my eyes and when she did, seeing tears in them was just another horrible reminder. “I have a feeling she will always do that. Now, I was thinking. How about if we all make a cake together later? For your birthday.”
