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Over the last little while, we’ve seen each other mainly through Phoebe, and at the diner. Plus, him showing up to fix things. Decker is always polite. We chat—mainly small talk—and he’ll always ask how I am, how Mahini is, and whether anything new has happened this week. Which it never does because I work all the time. When I’m not working, I’m taking Mahini to soccer or softball, or I’m at the clubhouse.
When we get back to my place, I invite him in for a coffee, and he accepts. Mahini won’t be home for a while, and anyway, it’s Decker. I don’t want to upset her at school, so I’ll let her know when she gets here.
“Allow me.” Decker sits me at the kitchen island while he takes over. “How do you like your coffee?”
“A little cream, no sugar. I don’t have a fancy coffee machine here, so it’s just the tea kettle.”
“On it.”
I watch him as he works, setting up the mugs—which I direct him to. As the kettle boils, he turns to me. “I’m so sorry that you were hurt, Pearl.” He leans on the countertop, his muscles bulging as I admire his tanned arms.
“It happens. It’s part of the life of the MC. At times, we get targeted—”
“I understand, but Mahini? Does she have questions?”
Her eyes harden. “I’d never put my daughter in danger.”
“I know you wouldn’t, but this shit is gettin’a little crazy. Lanzetti is a madman.” Somehow, his eyes seem to darken when he says the next part. “If anything were to happen to you—”
“You’d what?”
A few moments pass, and he clears his throat. “I’d deal with it.” His tone indicates something far more sinister than just having a word, man-to-man.
My eyebrows shoot up in surprise.
Before I can reply, he very purposely meets my gaze. “You’re Phoebe’s best friend. That’s the same as family in my books.”
I don’t know how I summon the courage to suddenly ask, “Is that all I am?”
Surely he’s aware of the times we’ve been polite and careful around one another. I’m not an idiot, and neither is he. We’ve been fighting it.
“What are you askin’ me?”
I puff air out of my cheeks, feeling like a fool. “Nothing.” I laugh. “Maybe it’s the accident, it’s gone to my head. I’m saying things I wouldn’t normally say.”
“You feel it, too.” It’s not a question.
I feel like I’ve drunk Kool-Aid, because the next words that trip out of my mouth make me want to slap myself silly. “The attraction between us?”
His handsome face is serious, taking me in for any signs of a joke. “Yes.”
“Does it scare you, Decker?”
His eyes crinkle slightly, his lips twitching. “Nothing scares me.”
“Now, that isn’t true.”
“You’re right, it isn’t. Losing the people I love and care about terrifies me.”
“I heard about Phoebe’s mom and how she passed. I’m sorry.” I don’t have it in me to say wife. “That must’ve been hard.”
“She was my best friend. I don’t know how much Phoebe told you, but we had separated before her diagnosis.”
I had heard something along those lines, and how supportive Decker had been. I remember thinking how sweet that was, and amazed they still had that connection. ALS is a terribly cruel disease. While I didn’t know Phoebe back then, she talks about her mom all the time.
“She told me,” I say, choosing my words carefully because I know this is a sore subject for him, even now. How do I know that? I guess you could say I know all the emotions on Decker’s face because I’m some kind of weird stalker. It hits me that I know a lot more about him than I let myself believe. “And I think it’s admirable, what you did. She sounds like an incredible woman.”
I see so much pain in his eyes. They cloud over, like he’s digging up a memory but trying not to show it. “Liz was an amazing woman. We had two gorgeous children together. She adored Kayla. I swear that kid gave her more time.”
