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I shake my head, but the smile remains.
Then he grows serious again.
“I can’t promise I’ll never screw this up.”
“I’d be suspicious if you did.”
“But I can promise I’m not going to treat being on tour like I’ve stepped out of our life until I come home. I don’t want two separate versions of my life anymore.”
That’s what I’ve needed from him all along. Not a promise that nothing will change, but the certainty that he still sees us as part of the same life even when he’s somewhere else.
Four months is still four months. We are still going to miss each other. There will be bad cell service, delayed flights, late shows, long tattoo days, stupid arguments, and probably at least one time difference one of us gets completely wrong.
But none of that sounds like a reason not to try.
I stand.
Zander looks up at me like he isn’t sure what happens next.
I cross the space between us and hold out my hand.
“Come here.”
He takes it and stands, and the second he does, I wrap my arms around him, and his go around me immediately.
For a few seconds, neither of us says anything. I press my cheek against his chest and breathe him in.
“I missed you,” I say.
His arms tighten. “I missed you too.”
I pull back enough to look at him. “See? I can say I’ll miss you without turning it into a reason you shouldn’t go.”
His mouth curves. “I’m learning.”
“You’d better be.”
He kisses me. It’s slow and warm, without any of the uncertainty that’s been hanging between us for the last few days. When he pulls away, he rests his forehead briefly against mine.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
No panic follows the words.
No question about what they guarantee, because they don’t have to guarantee anything.
He starts to pull back, and I catch the front of his shirt before he gets very far.
His eyes drop to my hand, then lift to mine. “Something else?”
“You’re not going anywhere.”
A slow smile spreads across his face. “That sounded less like a request, and more like a demand.”
“I’ve had a long week. I’m done being polite.”
He steps back into me, his hands settling at my hips. “That I can work with.”
