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I wanted to cry the entire drive home, and it wasn’t just because my card had declined. It was everything piling up at once. Granny’s illness, the fire, leaving my job, trying to find another one, and having people depend on me while I wasn’t even sure how much longer I could keep everything together.

I had worked too damn hard to reach a point where money wasn’t something I had to think about every single day. I had built savings, paid my bills, taken care of my son, and gotten comfortable knowing that if something unexpected happened, I could handle it… then life happened all at once. Now I was standing in grocery stores praying a seventy-dollar transaction went through.

That shit hurt.

What hurt even more was knowing Kaidence had seen it. I never wanted my son wondering whether I could afford to feed him. I never wanted him thinking he was asking for too much because I couldn’t buy him a bag of chips.

He was a child. He deserved to be a child, and I was going to make sure he stayed one, even if that meant crying in private and smiling in his face every damn day.

I checked the rearview mirror and found him watching something on his tablet, happy and completely unbothered.

Good.

That was exactly how I wanted him.

By the time we got home, I had pushed the grocery-store incident far enough into the back of my mind to function. I put everything away, helped Kaidence with the little worksheet his teacher had sent home, checked on Granny, listened to Willow complain about something that had happened at work, and then cooked dinner… nothing fancy, just enough to feed everybody and leave something for the next day.

Later, I helped Kaidence get ready for bed.

First he wanted another story, then water. Then he suddenly remembered something extremely important that had happened at school. After that, he needed to know whether Spider-Man could beat Batman. By the time I finally got him settled, I was exhausted.

I kissed his forehead. “Goodnight, baby.”

“Goodnight, Mommy.”

“Love you.”

“Love you more.”

I smiled. “Impossible.”

He grinned.

I turned off his light and closed the door before heading downstairs to make sure Granny had everything she needed for the night. Willow was still sitting with her laptop when I told her I was going upstairs.

“Goodnight, sis.”

“Night.”

I headed back upstairs, took a shower, changed into a T-shirt and shorts, and climbed into bed.

For a while, I simply lay there staring at the ceiling, unable to shut my mind off.

My checking account had twelve dollars in it.

I had a little room left on my credit card, but that wasn’t real money. That was another bill waiting to happen. I had no job, no guaranteed income coming in, and a family counting on me.

I rolled onto my side and studied the empty half of the bed before closing my eyes.

“God…” My voice cracked before I could even finish. “God, I need You.”

The tears came quietly. I wiped them away, but more followed.

“I know you’ve been looking out for us. I know things could’ve been so much worse. We made it out of that fire, Granny’s doing better, Kaidence is happy, and I am so grateful for all of that.” I took a shaky breath. “But I’m scared.”

There… I had finally said the one thing I refused to admit in front of everybody else.

“I’m scared because I don’t know what I’m supposed to do next. I’ve been applying for jobs. I’ve been trying. I know I have to be patient, but I don’t know how much longer I can afford to wait.” My chest tightened. “I don’t want my son worrying about money. I don’t want Granny stressing about whether we can take care of her, and I don’t want Willow feeling like she has to put her whole life on hold because I can’t figure mine out.”