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There was a pause. "No," she said quickly. "Darren, no. Of course he loved you."

I squeezed my eyes shut as tears spilled down my cheeks. "How can you know that?"

"Because he told us he did."

I stared at the kitchen wall. He'd told me the same, more times than I could count. Made gestures that spoke the words without being said aloud even more times. But how could someone who loved you do something like this to you?

His father came onto the call. "Darren, Jessica and I need to tell you something."

I waited, rubbing my thumb against the edge of the table because I couldn't keep my hands still.

"We knew Philip was bisexual," Harvey said.

I opened my eyes. "You knew?"

"We didn't know about any of this," he said quickly. "But yes. He had a boyfriend in high school. Then later, he had a girlfriend. He told us."

I felt something inside me sink.

Even his parents had known.

Another piece of my life I had never been given.

"The bisexual part isn't what's upsetting me," I said quietly. My voice sounded strange to my own ears, thin and exhausted. "I don't care who Philip is attracted to. I care that he lied to me. He'd acted on his attraction when he knew he wasn't supposed to. He had another long term relationship. He had another home. He spent stolen money on it. He was apparently living with another man while coming home to me afterward and telling me he loved me."

His mother began crying. "Philip just made a mistake," she said.

I stared at the phone. A mistake? "Did you hear what I just told you?"

"Yes, sweetheart. I know it's terrible."

"Then how is that one mistake?"

"People make mistakes," she said gently. "Maybe you two were going through a difficult time when this started. Did you have a rough patch around then? Around any of the times? Maybe he felt pressured to give you children, and that's why he did some of what he did, so he could make sure you got the children.

My mouth opened, but nothing came out. There had been ordinary arguments. Bills. Work stress. Exhaustion. The usual things married couples dealt with. Nothing that explained this. Nothing that gave Philip permission to create an entirely separate life. Nothing that should have prompted him to do any of this.

His father sighed. "He must have had his head turned. It doesn't excuse what he did, but it doesn't mean he stopped loving you."

I pressed the heel of my hand against my forehead.

I heard his mother take a shaky breath. "You should see a counselor, Darren. Someone who can help you work through this. Once Philip's lawyer gets everything sorted out, you two could start marriage counseling. You can both work through what happened."

I stared at the kitchen table as I heard Harvey agree. "A good counselor can help you forgive him. If you still love each other, you don't have to throw your marriage away over one terrible mistake."

I felt my chest tighten again. Forgive him. The words seemed to echo inside my head. They want me to forgive him. I looked around the kitchen.

The stolen money. The fabricated business trips. The apartment. The boyfriend. The clothes. The toiletries. The affairs. The lies about our children's mothers. The years of things I hadn't known. This house was probably going to be taken by the IRS because of the tax fraud he'd committed, because there was a line to fill in on tax returns for declaring illegally obtained money, as you had to declare the income and pay taxes on it. It had always seemed funny before. It didn't anymore.

My breathing became shallow. I pressed my palm against my chest, trying to slow my heart.

This wasn't one mistake.

They weren't asking me to understand what had happened. They were already talking about fixing the marriage. They were talking about counseling and giving him forgiveness. They were talking about me going back to Philip.

But I don't even know who I'm supposed to be going back to.

The thought broke something inside me. I started crying harder, trying to keep my breathing under control and failing. My shoulders shook, and I had to put my other hand over my mouth so the boys wouldn't hear me from upstairs.