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“Different in what way?” I ask, puzzled.

He hesitates for so long, I wonder whether he didn’t hear me. He touches my cheek with the back of his fingers, gentle, affectionate.

He inhales deeply. Then he blows out a breath, smiles, and lowers his hands. “Doesn’t matter. It’s all in the past. Come on. Ollie texted to say a few of our friends are going to be at the festival. Let’s go and find them.”

I turn and walk beside him, but I can barely think, barely breathe. Why does he think he stayed too long? What did he mean? My head is spinning. Was he talking about Jayden? Teaching? Evermore?

Or was he talking about me?

Of course he wasn’t. He just meant that it gets harder to leave home the longer you stay.

Didn’t he?

Chapter Ten

Mitch

After the emotional rollercoaster of the morning, the afternoon turns out to be a lot of fun.

We return to the Harbour Master’s cottage for a quick bit of lunch, and Vix packs a bag with some blankets, water bottles, and snacks. Then all four of us walk into town. A lot of the shops have closed early, and townsfolk and visitors alike are making their way to the park. We follow the throng and walk through the gates to discover the lawns already half full with people lying on blankets and sitting on fold-up chairs facing the huge stage.

Around the edges, mobile coffee shops and stalls are selling hāngī—food cooked in underground steam ovens—as well as hot dogs, pulled pork buns, ice creams, and tons of other stuff. Clearly we won’t go hungry today! You can’t bring your own alcohol, but there’s an onsite bar where you can buy wine and craft beers that should be fun to explore.

Ollie texts to say they’re over near the river by the big pōhutukawa tree, and we find him there, along with a whole bunch of my old friends that I haven’t seen for ages, including Jake, now the chef at The Captain’s Table, and Bear, the builder I want to talk to about sprucing up the flat and bookshop. Most of Vix’s Sleigh Belles are here, too, including Emma, Cate, Harri, and Blair, and we exchange hugs with those we know and introductions with those we don’t.

We all find a space on the spread-out blankets. As the first band comes onto the stage, everyone cheers, and Millie starts dancing immediately as they strike up their first song.

It’s a beautiful day. I’d forgotten how much warmer it is up in the Bay of Islands compared to the capital. The sun beats down, and I’m glad we’re under the shade of one of the many big pōhutukawa trees. They’ll start flowering soon—big, red flowers for Christmas, all over the island.

Millie splashes in the shallows of the river with the other kids and a couple of dogs while we keep a lazy eye on her. When she eventually rejoins us, she’s beaming, but soaked and shivering. Luckily Vix is prepared for that eventuality, and after Millie’s changed and wrapped in a big warm blanket, she climbs onto my lap, snuggles against me, and promptly falls asleep, despite the loud music and conversation around her.

I sit there in the dappled sunshine, eating one of the pork buns that Rudolph bought everyone and sipping a beer, with the little girl asleep in my lap, and think that life could be a lot worse. The stresses and politics of my job seem a world away.

My gaze drifts over to Vix, who’s talking to her girlfriends, looking relaxed and happy. I came so close to admitting my feelings for her today. Part of me wonders why I didn’t. Jayden’s gone, and in a flash of rebelliousness, I decide that he doesn’t deserve her anyway.

I can still remember the moment I first saw her, all those years ago. I was close to graduating from university, and saw a position was available at Evermore’s school and applied for it, unable to believe my luck. I flew up to the Bay of Islands, took the ferry to Evermore, and went straight to the interview with Rudolph and the school board. The process took nearly all day, the way teaching interviews do. When he called me in at the end of the day to tell me I’d got the job, I walked out on a high—and bumped straight into Vix.

He introduced her as his daughter, and told her I was going to be the school’s new teacher. She teased me and said her father was very possessive of his staff, and she hoped I realised I’d still be working there when I was sixty-five if he had his way. She then promptly knocked over a stack of books, and I laughed and bent to help her pick them up as she blushed.

She was beautiful, both in body and spirit, funny, kind, and gentle, and I fell in love with her on the spot.

And then Jayden walked in and said, “Oh, you’ve met my girlfriend!” And I realised this was the girl he’d been dating for six months. In front of me, he kissed her, and I’m surprised nobody heard my heart breaking.

Just a week later, he proposed, and she said yes. So that was that.

She loved him; I could see that. Girls had always been drawn to him since high school, no matter how badly he treated them, and Vix was no exception. He was my friend, and so I never said anything, but I hated the way he talked down to her sometimes, or dismissed her point of view. How he prioritised his rugby and his mates over her. How he used to joke, “Bros before hoes.”

I came close to admitting my feelings, but after a frank conversation with her father, I realised I could never tell her how I felt. So I didn’t say anything. Instead, I stayed as long as I could. Watched her walk down the aisle, and return a bride. A few months later, I listened to her announce she was pregnant. I saw her body swell with the baby, and I visited her in hospital when Millie was born.

And then I left, because I couldn’t stand it anymore. I walked away, because she’d chosen him, and I didn’t want to interfere with that. I made a sacrifice, and even though it nearly killed me, I felt I was doing the right thing.

Now, though, I’m surprised by the flare of resentment I feel at the thought of him throwing away his marriage and his daughter. My arms tighten around Millie, and I rest my lips on the top of her hair. She’s so tiny, just starting off in the world. She sighs in her sleep and nestles closer. Children deserve to feel this safe.

“I might take a photo of that and send it to Jayden,” Ollie murmurs where he’s lying on the grass beside me. He gestures at Millie, sound asleep on my lap. “Show him how it should be done,” he adds, giving me a smile.

I glance at the girls, but they’re busy talking and haven’t heard him. “Have you heard from him?”

He shakes his head. “I tried texting, but he didn’t reply. He’s cut himself off from his life up here. Feeling too guilty, I think. Or at least he should be. Wanker.”