Page 56

I turned to find him standing at the door to his apartment. He had on his signature ripped jeans and a sleeveless gray T-shirt that showcased his gorgeous, tanned arms.

“How was your first day?”

He remembered?

I cleared my throat. “Good, overall, for a first day. But it was a lot to take in.”

“Well, I’m here if you want to talk about it.”

I looked down at him from the stairs, contemplating whether to stay or leave. It was absolutely the wrong decision, but I’d missed seeing him, and I was eager to talk to someone. Surely I can keep myself together. I stepped down and followed Rafe into his apartment.

I walked over to the couch, took a seat, and closed my eyes for a moment, willing the stress of the day to dissipate and my heart rate to slow. Being in Rafe’s presence should’ve heightened my anxiety, yet it didn’t. With each second that passed, I felt calmer. Despite everything, Rafe was easy to talk to, a good listener, and always gave me the impression that he truly cared. But none of that helped my particular situation. I let out a long, exasperated breath.

“I guess that says it all, huh?”

I opened my eyes. “It was honestly great. Just a lot to adjust to a new environment and deal with imposter syndrome.”

He stayed standing, slipping his hands into his pockets. “That’s normal for the first day. I’ve told you before, I give you a lot of credit for dealing with the corporate jungle.”

“They threw me right into a project that hit uncomfortably close to home,” I admitted.

“How so?”

“They have me reading through a manuscript, and the heroine of the story reminds me a little too much of myself, and not in a good way. I was supposed to point out anything readers might find problematic. But the whole damn thing is problematic.”

“Ouch.” He laughed. “Well, I’m sure you did the best you could with it.”

“I provided constructive criticism without asking anyone to rewrite the story or delete any important parts, but now I have a massive headache.”

“It’ll get better with each day,” he assured me. “I know that’s easy for me to say, but I do know the first day of a new job is always the hardest.”

I had to agree with that. “I’ve had too much time on my hands, and that’s been dangerous. So despite feeling a bit undeserving of the position, I’m grateful to have started.”

Rafe squinted. “Why would you be undeserving? You got the job fair and square based on your abilities, right?”

“I think I’m doubting myself more from a…moral standpoint lately.”

“You mean, you don’t think you deserve good things because you have a pulse and maybe feel things you think you shouldn’t from time to time?” He shrugged. “Everyone experiences thoughts and feelings they can’t help, Talia. Don’t give yourself a hard time about things you can’t control. You’re a good person. That’s the very reason you’re beating yourself up about stuff you shouldn’t be—because you do have morals.”

“I’m not a good person. Calder deserves more than someone dishonest.”

“Not telling someone your every thought isn’t dishonesty. The only person you have to be a hundred-percent truthful to is yourself. Because if you go against what you truly want and need in life, you’ll never be happy.”

“Is that why you moved on from Cara?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking. “Because being with her was no longer making you happy?”

He took a seat at the far end of the couch. “I was never with her, per se. But what made you ask that right now?”

I gave him an incredulous look. “Your hookup the other night? After the three of us went to dinner, you were going to see someone?”

He shook his head. “I didn’t really have one.”

My eyes went wide. “You lied?”

“Well, not entirely. I did hang out with someone who would’ve hooked up with me if I’d allowed it. But I wasn’t feeling it and never had the intention of doing anything.”

“Why did you make it sound like you did?”

“Because people do stupid shit sometimes to make it seem like everything is fine in their lives when it’s not. Sometimes that’s easier than facing the truth.”