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Rafe pulled his head back, frowning. “Nothing happened. We don’t need to lie to Calder.”

A tear slid down my cheek. “Then why does it feel like I’ve done something terrible?”

He didn’t answer. The dryer thumped behind us while our gazes stayed locked. Rafe’s eyes searched mine, like he was trying to figure out a way to answer. But neither of us wanted to say the truth out loud.

I dropped my eyes. “I should go.”

I turned and headed for the stairs, and this time Rafe didn’t stop me.

***

I debated not answering. But on the third ring, I changed my mind.

“Hey, Nat.”

“What’s going on, girl?”

Other than me emotionally cheating on my boyfriend with his best friend and nearly having a breakdown when I tried to call my dead father? “Not much,” I responded.

“How’s the Big Apple?”

“Great. Even better than I could’ve imagined.”

“Is it weird that while I’m happy to hear that, a small, selfish part of me also hoped you’d be miserable and want to come home? I miss being peanut butter and jelly.”

I smiled sadly. “We’ll always be peanut butter and jelly, Nat. Doesn’t matter where we are.”

She sighed. “I miss you overordering at restaurants and me getting to eat half your food but still only paying my share of the bill.”

I laughed, and my shoulders loosened a little. And to think, I’d been one ring away from not picking up her call. Nat was exactly what I needed right now. Normal. “What’s going on in sleepy Montana?” I asked.

She went into a ten-minute tirade about our local coffee shop deciding to close at three o’clock from now on, and a guy named Wyatt who’d invited her to a bonfire and then had the nerve to ask if she knew how to bait a hook.

I smiled, leaning back against the couch. “He sounds like a catch, pun intended.”

“My life is so damn boring. Tell me what’s going on with you. Better yet, let me close my eyes, and you can tell me what your hot downstairs neighbor was wearing the last time you saw him.”

White T-shirt, jeans that hung perfectly on his hips, and black Chucks. “I have no idea what he was wearing.”

Nat gasped. “How could you not? Have you lost your vision?”

“I guess I only have eyes for one man.” As soon as the words left my mouth, I rolled my eyes so far back into my head, they should’ve gotten stuck. I was glad she hadn’t FaceTimed.

“You and Calder are nauseatingly in love.”

I had no idea why I was lying to my best friend. If there was one person I could’ve confided in, it was Nat. Maybe I was embarrassed to admit what I’d been doing while Calder was gone, but then I started to wonder if I was acting like everything was so great because I was trying to convince myself.

The screwed-up part was, as I told her all the positive things about my relationship with Calder, I actually started to believe them—for a minute anyway.

After we hung up, I decided, yet again, that the only way to fix the mess I’d gotten myself into was to put more effort into my real relationship, not the one I’d been pretending to have with Rafe. So I blew out my hair, did my makeup, and got dressed up for Calder’s arrival home.

Maybe I was just lonely in a new place where I barely knew anyone, and flirting with Rafe was nothing more than a distraction to fill the void. That had to be it. Because the alternative—that it meant something—was more than I was ready to face.

Calder was a good man. Safe. The life I’d chosen. I needed to start acting like it. And eventually, maybe, it would feel true again.

At seven fifteen, I was in the bathroom when I heard the front door open. Calder had barely set his bag down when I ran out and launched myself at him.

“You’re home!” Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. “I missed you so much.”