Page 20

“Anytime.” He winked again. “Us orphans have to stick together.”

I smiled. “How old were you when your mother remarried?”

“Like five. She didn’t wait very long. I think she was afraid to be alone.” He looked away for a moment. “Anyway, I feel like watching them fight my entire childhood made me wary of relationships in general. But Calder’s house always felt like a safe space.”

“I can understand that.”

“The one good thing about my upbringing was that I used art as an escape. The worse things got, the more I’d bury myself in it. That sort of paid off, I guess.”

“So, you wouldn’t be who you are today if it weren’t for all that...”

“Correct. That’s the irony.”

I played with my napkin. “Are they still together—your mom and stepfather?”

“Yep. Can you believe it? I guess on some level they love each other, even though they make each other’s lives miserable.” He rolled his eyes. “And my life miserable.”

I frowned.

“Don’t be sad for me,” he said. “I’m in a good place. My childhood helped me realize what I don’t want out of life.”

“Like what?”

“Well, for one, I don’t want to marry someone just so I’m not lonely. Like I said, I think that’s what happened to my mother. She wanted someone to keep the bed warm. Now she’s stuck with that jackass for life. I’m not gonna get married unless I find a connection so soul-crushing that I can’t help but be bound to her. I’d never rule that out.”

I wondered what that felt like. As much as I loved and cared for Calder, I wasn’t sure I’d felt anything like what Rafe had just described. My life with Calder was comfortable, and there was a lot of love between us. But soul-crushing? I couldn’t relate to that level of intensity.

He turned the tables on me. “Do you and Calder ever talk about marriage and kids?”

“We’ve talked about it, but neither one of us is ready for those things.”

Rafe nodded. “That’s smart to wait. No reason to tie yourself down so young. I mean, anyone can walk away from a marriage. But kids are for life.”

“Very true. Venturing into parenthood is a big decision, but I do think I want that someday, when the time is right. That could be because I was privileged to come from a family with two parents who loved each other and made me feel protected. But I wouldn’t be opposed to adoption, either.”

“Now that I can get behind,” he said. “It makes so much more sense to give a home to someone who needs it.” He stared into my eyes for a beat. “Not sure how we got on to such deep subjects.” He chuckled. “I never know where a conversation is going to go with you, Talia.”

“It’s my fault?”

“Yeah, damn you, you’re easy to talk to. No wonder Calder likes you.” He winked.

A chill ran down my spine. Rafe was easy to talk to as well. We chatted for another half hour. Then I figured I’d probably had enough bonding time with my boyfriend’s bestie.

“I should get going.” I gathered my trash and dragged myself up.

“Yeah. Lost track of time,” he agreed.

On the walk back, Rafe told me more about the neighborhood, where to get the best pastrami sandwich, and where to score the best bagel with lox and cream cheese.

Once inside the building, we stopped at Rafe’s apartment.

“Thanks again for treating me,” I told him.

“What are your plans tonight?”

For a split second, I thought he was directing his question only at me, but then I remembered the last time and laughed inwardly at how stupid I was.

“Not sure. Why?”