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I faced the mirror again, stared at myself a moment, and wiped off all my makeup to start over. After a half hour, I emerged from the bathroom, running late for my dinner with Rafe.

Calder was looking out the window at the street below with his hands in his pockets. When he heard me, he turned. “You look beautiful,” he said softly.

My heart fluttered at the unexpected compliment. I glanced down at his hands and imagined them all over that woman. I was grateful he hadn’t offered her last name. I might’ve looked her up online. But I never wanted to know who she was. The jealousy I felt was unreasonable, but nevertheless so strong. Stronger than I’d imagined it could be, given my feelings for Rafe. That was a bit eye-opening and confusing.

I’d turned to go when he said, “I’m still here, Talia. I’m aware that you’re not sure what you want. But I’m still here.”

When I looked back, Calder took a few steps toward me. “After Rafe leaves, and you come to your senses and decide you really do want to work on things with me, I will still be here. Not forever, but for now.” He turned back toward the window. “Be safe.”

***

A little later that evening, Rafe and I sat across from each other at Titi’s Tapas, a new place in a neighborhood that was walkable from our brownstone. As I licked salt off the rim of my margarita, Calder’s news from earlier remained on my mind.

It didn’t take much for Rafe to figure out something was off with me.

“What’s going on, Talia? Did Calder do or say something to upset you?”

I looked at the table as I filled him in on Calder’s confession. Only after I was certain I could get the words out did I look up to meet his eyes.

Rafe’s jaw hung open as he shook his head. “Wow. I didn’t think he had it in him.”

“Honestly, me neither.”

He leaned back in his seat. “So…how do you feel about it?”

It was hard to articulate, especially to Rafe. “It’s a weird feeling. When he first told me… For a quick moment, it felt just as shocking as it would’ve if nothing had happened between you and me. But obviously when you look at it with some context, his choice makes sense.” I shook my head. “I probably should’ve seen it coming. He said it wasn’t about revenge, but I can’t imagine that wasn’t part of it.”

“Of course it was,” Rafe said, taking a swig of his beer.

“Yeah.” I downed some of my margarita.

Rafe laughed a little. “Well, I hate to say it, but I kind of feel better now. It takes away some of the guilt. Not much. But a little.”

I sighed. “I know what you mean.”

There was a lot rattling around inside me after Calder’s confession, but it didn’t seem fair to drop that on Rafe right before he left town. He might not have been the person to help me sort through it anyway. Somehow, though, none of this took away from my feelings for Rafe. It only added to the whole tumultuous experience.

I managed to get my mind off Calder for the latter half of our dinner. Rafe had ordered an array of tapas that included pork tacos, chicken croquettes, and crab empanadas. We definitely chowed down, and my skirt felt tighter as we left the place.

After dinner, Rafe and I walked hand in hand down the street, immersed in the humid night air. He told me he wanted to take me to an art gallery nearby where one of his pieces was on display. That was one reason he’d chosen the tapas bar for dinner.

When we arrived at the gallery, Rafe held the door as I stepped into the small space with its white walls and exposed beams. The owners were having a sip-and-see tonight where people could have a drink and browse. Rafe introduced me to a couple of his friends before taking me over to a corner of the room where his painting hung.

The title of the work was Stolen. It was an abstract, and at first, I couldn’t figure out what it was. But then I realized the figures were people. Three people. Two males and a female in the middle. There was a realistic-looking crack painted across the two male figures, and the woman was in the center of the painting, but less prominent. This piece was about the men. And about betrayal.

Rafe stared at his work. “I’ll always regret what I did to him, Talia. I know sometimes it probably seems like I don’t care about his feelings because I’m so wrapped up in you. But in truth, it’s hard to face what a terrible person I am, so I bury it. I choose to focus on you and less on the consequences of my actions.” He turned toward me. “You’re not the only one hurting inside because of our decisions. I know you probably feel like you’re carrying the bulk of the guilt. I’ve made you feel that way. But I assure you it’s something we share equally. Something we will always share.”

Then he took my hand. “But despite the guilt I have to work through, I will never regret you. The connection we have, the way you ground me… It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I’m addicted to how you make me feel. Despite the fact that I fucked up royally when it came to my friend, I’d do it all over again, Talia.”

The other people in the gallery seemed to fade away as he leaned his forehead against mine.

“I wouldn’t change anything either, Rafe.” I reached up and placed a long kiss on his lips.

As we left the gallery, I realized I’d nearly forgotten Calder’s earlier confession. But something else had replaced that noise: a ticking clock that counted down to Rafe’s leaving tomorrow. I was about to lose him to Las Vegas, and as proud of him as I was, it was scary not to know how things would end.

As we walked home, Rafe swung our intertwined hands. “How have things been with Calder upstairs?”

I cut to the chase. “Are you asking if we’ve slept in separate beds?”