Page 67

“Very good,” Sarah says softly after a while. “When you’re ready, you can open your eyes and come back to the room.”

I exhale, feeling more grounded than I have in days.

“How do you feel?” she asks.

“Calmer,” I admit. “Like I can actually breathe.”

She smiles warmly. “Good. You’ve been living in fight-or-flight for a very long time, Ari. Your body and nervous system have been protecting you the only way they know how. Part of our work together will be helping you feel safe in your body again.”

We sit in comfortable silence for a moment. I can tell she’s giving me space, waiting to see if I’ll fill it.

Eventually, she asks gently, “Is there something else on your mind today?”

I shift in my seat, heat creeping up my neck. “So… you have a specialty in sex therapy?”

“I do,” she confirms, her expression remaining open and professional.

I pick at the hem of my skirt, unsure how to begin. The words feel tangled in my throat.

Sarah waits patiently. “If there’s something you’d like to talk about, we can. I have time.”

I take a deep breath and keep my eyes fixed on my hands. “It’s one of my Barons.”

Her expression stays carefully neutral, though I catch the briefest flicker of concern in her eyes. “Is he hurting you?”

“No!” I say quickly, looking up. “No, nothing like that.” I tilt my head, embarrassed. “Nevermind.”

“Ari,” she says gently but firmly, “I’ve heard everything over the years. Nothing you say will shock me, and I may be able to help.”

I exhale shakily. “He’s not hurting me–at least not… non-consensually.”

“Okay,” she says, understanding immediately. “Consensual on your part.”

I nod in relief. “I like it. I want it, really. But he’s afraid to touch me.”

“At all?”

“Almost every time we’re intimate, he panics. He’s afraid he’ll go too far.”

“So a lack of restraint is the fear,” she says, phrasing it carefully.

“I guess. There’s trauma in his past. Things that make him have a particular…” I hesitate, then use the word I’ve heard the guys say, “... kink.”

Sarah nods, completely unfazed. “Do you think he goes too far?”

“I don’t know,” I say honestly. “I like it when he’s rough with me. I feel close to him then. But he always stops himself. Or puts up these barriers between us.” My throat tightens. “I just want to be close to him. The way I am with Damon… and how I was with Timothy.”

Saying it out loud feels both terrifying and relieving. There’s no judgment in Sarah’s face–only thoughtful consideration. She’s clearly heard far more complicated things than this.

“That’s a very vulnerable thing to admit,” she says kindly. “Wanting roughness and intensity doesn’t make you broken or wrong. It sounds like you’re craving trust and full presence from him. And it sounds like his fear is getting in the way of that connection.”

I nod, blinking back unexpected tears.

“This is manageable,” she continues. “Both on helping him feel safe enough to trust himself with you, and on helping you communicate what you need without shame. The relationship House Girls have with their royal men can be intense and a greater bond than most people will ever experience in their lives. Sometimes these things are best explored in a controlled, safe environment–with someone you both trust present to help hold the boundaries.”

“Things were okay when Timothy was in control,” I admit quietly. “He could let go a little bit more with me.” I wipe away a tear that slips free. “But Timothy is in recovery, and we can’t rely on him. Not for this.”

Sarah nods thoughtfully, her expression gentle. “What about Damon? He’s your leader now. Can he help hold that space for you and Hunter?”