Page 67

Confused, I ask, “Why not?”

“Because sometimes that’s not the biggest emotion they feel.”

“What do you mean?”

Lennon shakes her head as she grabs the paper drape from the table and shakes it out. “Never mind.”

I walk over and tip her chin up, forcing her to look at me. “Stop doing that.”

“What?”

“Not saying what you want to say.”

“I—”

“I’m your husband now, Lennon. I’m the person who’s going to be here through every step of this. I was your best friend once upon a time too.” Her eyes bounce between mine. “You can talk to me, tell me anything. I’m not going to judge you. In fact, I think you’ll feel better if you say what’s on your mind.”

You used to be able to, that is.

She swallows roughly as I release her chin from my grasp when she takes a step back, hating how she distances herself from me every time that I touch her. “I’m just…scared.”

“But what are you scared of?”

“Something going wrong. Actually seeing the baby. That I—” Her eyes veer off to the side. “That I’m not going to accept this huge shift in my life and keep fighting it.”

I reach up and cup the side of her face this time, her head tilting slightly into my touch. Her skin is so soft, those brown eyes so deep and full of a request to be reassured that she’s normal, but that she can also do this.

“You’re a fighter, Lennon. You always have been, ever since you were a kid. You never let anyone boss you around, you stand up for yourself and others, and you go after what you want. And do you know what that tells me?”

“What?” she whispers.

“That you can do this too. That you will fight to make the most of this situation. You don’t have to stop being scared to be a good mom, Lennon. Your baby is so fucking lucky to have you as their mother.”

Her mouth parts slightly in surprise.

But how on earth can this woman not believe in herself? How can she not see what I do?

And what would she do if I kissed her to get my point across?

A knock on the door interrupts our moment before I can act, my hand falling from her face as the doctor walks in.

“Good afternoon,” Dr. Monogan greets us, shutting the door softly behind her. Then her eyes drop down to Lennon’s legs. “Oh, I’m sorry. I figured you’d be ready.”

Lennon smiles at her. “Sorry, we got caught up talking.”

“No problem. Let me step out again and give you a few more minutes.” The doctor leaves just as quickly as she came in.

“Can you turn around, please?” Lennon motions for me to spin around.

“Of course.” With my back to her, I stare at one of the posters on the wall explaining the dilation process, while trying not to think about the fact that Lennon is getting partially naked behind me.

In the past week, I’ve had to practice giving her space and not fixating on the fact that she’s been naked in my house so I don’t sport a fucking tent in my pants right in front of her.

There’s still no visible bump, though she keeps complaining that her boobs are sore. And I can definitely tell they’re not the same size as they used to be.

I should be given a gold freaking medal for not looking down at her chest even once each time she’s said that directly to me, though—and trust me, it’s been a lot.

“Okay, I’m good.”