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A silent understanding rests between us. “I feel the same, but if you change your mind, you know I would be there to hold your hand in a heartbeat.”

“I know you would,” I say through a sniffle and press my palm to my forehead. “Oh God, I need to talk to Adam.”

“Yes, you do.”

“We’ve only been seeing each other for a few months. I mean, how do I tell him he’s the father of my child? I can’t even tell you what his reaction might be to this news.”

“Did you guys always use protection?” Elodie asks, and I don’t blame her.

“Yes, except one night when he pulled out because he didn’t have a condom.” Shaking my head, I curse myself after remembering that detail when I finished throwing up earlier. “Stupid.”

“Yep. That was probably the night your baby was conceived.”

Fear rushes through me, making my entire body shake. My voice is barely audible when I whisper, “How am I going to do this, Elodie?”

“You’re going to take it one day at a time, Lennon. You are the queen of flying by the seat of your pants and, well? That’s the type of life you become accustomed to once you have kids. Trust me.” Elodie fell in love with her husband’s baby girl, Remy, before she fell head over heels for him. “And remember, my mom would be more than happy to help with childcare if that’s something you need after the baby is born.” My best friend’s mom owns a daycare in Garnet Valley and has since we were kids.

“She hasn’t decided to retire yet? I thought she’d be close to closing her doors by now.”

Elodie chuckles. “I don’t think she’d know what to do with herself if she didn’t have kids running around the house. I do know that she doesn’t take as many kids as she used to, but she also has two assistants now instead of the one, so she isn’t as exhausted by the end of the day. Besides, babies were always her favorite.”

“Like mother, like daughter.”

I can hear Elodie’s daughter blabber something through the phone line. “Speaking of kids, Remy just informed me that she pooped in her underwear.”

“Oh joy. Thank you for reminding me of what I have to look forward to.”

Elodie laughs again. “Trust me. It’s all worth it, Lennon. Just breathe and tackle one thing at a time, okay? The first being talking to Adam.”

I breathe out heavily. “Okay. Thank you.”

“Anytime. I love you, Lennon. Keep me updated and call me anytime you need to talk.”

“I will. Love you too.”

When I hang up the call, I stare back up at the glow-in-the-dark stars above me while placing my hand over my stomach.

“It’s gonna be okay, little one. We’re gonna figure this out.”

I’m not sure who I’m trying to convince of that fact more—me or my child—but either way, I try not to focus on the fact that the man I want to talk to right now isn’t the one whose baby I’m carrying.

My eyes land on the collage of pictures from high school still hanging on my bedroom wall, where I find Easton and his smile that I can practically feel through the photo.

God, I miss him.

Thinking about him this morning has only added to how off-kilter I’ve felt today, since now I know the true source of my uneasiness.

But if things were different, if we were still close like we used to be, he would tell me exactly what I needed to hear right now, even if I didn’t want to hear it.

He always had that talent, calming me with his words and showing up for me when I needed someone to lean on. No other guy in my life has ever made me feel that way either, which I only realized after my father’s heart attack.

I hate admitting that to myself since it’s been years since anything felt normal between us, but when you have a friend in your life like him for so long, it’s natural to grieve that relationship, even if it wasn’t meant to last a lifetime like you thought it would.

The reality is, though, it’s my fault that he doesn’t come around anymore.

Because the last time it felt like I had my best friend back, I crossed a line I shouldn’t have.

But in this moment, I just wish I could go back in time and feel the reassurance that only he can offer me, even though I wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t run away from the truth that neither one of us wanted to face.