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Lennon squeezes my hands tighter as the hospital bed rolls through the hallway toward the operating room. “I’m scared, Easton. This isn’t what we had planned.”
“I know, but I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere, and you can do this. It will be over before you know it.”
Much to Lennon’s disappointment, we’re on our way to the operating room for a C-section. After fourteen hours of labor, our little girl’s heart rate started to drop, and the doctor didn’t like the numbers. Lennon agreed to surgery without hesitation, but fear is written all over her face.
It isn’t what we planned.
But that means I have to step up like the moms’ group trained me to.
This is what I’ve prepared for—supporting her through one of the scariest moments of our lives.
“I just want her to be okay.”
“She will be. Dr. Monogan said once we get you in there, they can have her out in a flash.”
Luckily, Lennon already received an epidural, so that’s one less obstacle we have to face. As soon as she had the option for the drugs, she took them, just like she said she would.
Lennon takes a deep breath as we enter the operating room. The staff raises a curtain to block our view of the surgery, and I focus only on her face as I hold her hand. “Breathe, baby. You’re doing great.”
Lennon closes her eyes, nodding and just listening to my voice.
I trace our familiar circles and taps against her hand, making her smile.
“She’s going to be here in just a few minutes. We get to meet our daughter, and you’re going to be a mom.”
A tear slips down Lennon’s cheek as she peers over at me. “I love you.”
“I love you more.”
“She’s here!” Dr. Monogan announces, holding the baby over the curtain so we can see that precious little girl we’ve been dying to meet.
Lennon bursts into sobs. “Oh my god! She’s here!”
My vision instantly turns blurry. “Holy shit.”
“We’re gonna get her cleaned up and check her vitals, but she’s beautiful, you two. Congratulations.”
There’s so much commotion that blocking it out seems pointless. Still, the only people I focus on are Lennon and our little girl.
My little girl.Her first cry echoes in the room, and a wave of relief washes through me.
“Oh my god, she’s here,” Lennon mumbles again beside me as I kiss her forehead.
“She is. You did so good, Lennon. So fucking good.”
A few moments later, a nurse brings her to me, wrapped in a pink blanket and wearing a thin white hat. “Here you go, Daddy. Here’s your daughter.”
Holding this little girl for the first time makes everything I’ve ever endured worth it.
The self-doubt.
The feeling of not being good enough.
The ache of never knowing if I’d ever get to this moment with Lennon.
But I’m here, really in it, and it’s better than I ever fucking imagined.
