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“Right?”
A ding filters through the line. “Shit. I have an order I need to pick up from Walmart I forgot about.” I hear her start her car. “You’re fine, I just have to drive over there so my Bluetooth is going to pop on in just a second.”
“Okay.”
I hear the sound of the phone connecting to her car, and then she sighs. “Okay. You’re good. So, you two are starting to act like a real married couple, which is freaking you out because you’re afraid he’s going to change his mind?”
I nod even though she can’t see me. “Yes, and now that I know I’m having a daughter, it’s making me question my decisions even more.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want to screw her up, Sloane. I’m so afraid that my current decisions are going to come back to haunt me. This is what I’ve done. I’ve made one wrong decision and then years down the road, the consequences of that decision slam right into me.”
“Lennon, you make mistakes just like any other human, but even choices that don’t work out perfectly aren’t always mistakes, hun. They’re just lessons that hopefully help us live with more intention.”
Sloane’s words make it a little easier to breathe for the first time since Friday.
My biggest struggle, though, is the idea that Easton is the man I’m supposed to be with and I’ve been too stubborn to admit it.
Was this how everything was supposed to happen? Or, worse, did I agree to his offer too quickly out of fear and risk our friendship for the last time?
Because if this marriage doesn’t work, I don’t think we could ever bounce back from that.
Sloane clears her throat before continuing. “And Lennon? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you’re going to mess up your daughter in your own unique way no matter what. Trust me. I’ve been in therapy on and off over the years, and realized shit that Mom and Dad did throughout our childhood that affected me more than I realized. And I wouldn’t classify our childhood as traumatic in the slightest. Well, except for the banana-condom lesson that Mom pushed on us. That was pretty traumatic.”
My laughter echoes through the living room. “That came up during the camping trip a few weeks ago, FYI.”
“Aw, the family camping trips,” she says wistfully. “God, I haven’t been to one in…”
“Fourteen years, Sloane,” I finish for her.
“Damn. That seems like a lifetime.”
“It feels that way too. I—I miss you.”
My sister grows quiet for a beat. “Staying in Garnet Valley would have been a different life for me, Lennon. One with Owen would have prevented me from getting the experiences that I wanted…”
“I get it. I only remember things vaguely, but I always thought the two of you would end up like Easton and me—except for the baby not being his, of course.”
“Yeah, well. Things don’t always work out the way we thought they would, which you should understand more than ever now.”
“I do.”
“But um…how is he?”
“Owen?”
“Uh-huh.”
“You really want to know? Because you never bring him up…”
I hear her hesitation as a car horn sounds in the background. “I—I don’t know. Maybe because I’ve been thinking of visiting Garnet Valley soon, and I wondered if he still hates me. I might even want to stay for a little while…”
I sit up taller on the couch. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah, things with Matthew are…” But she doesn’t finish that thought because the next thing I know, she’s cursing. “Shit! I—I’ve got to go, Lennon. I missed my turn and now I need to flip a bitch.”
“Flip a what?”