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I lay with him tucked close, his body fit perfectly against mine, as though this was meant to be. I kissed his shoulder, mouthed gently at the nape of his neck, where his hair curled against his skin. My breathing matched his, so we were perfectly in sync. Perhaps even our hearts beat in time.

“I kinda get the feeling you don’t do this often,” Cam said. His voice was gentle, barely above a whisper.

“I don’t ever do this,” I admitted.

“But you’ve been with men.” It wasn’t a question.

“Dance academy,” I said, as though that explained everything.

“Oh right, yeah,” he chuckled. “Lots of guys, not much clothing, getting all up close an’ personal. I see it.”

I stroked his hip, his thigh, tracing lazy circles that didn’t go anywhere.

“There was one . . . man,” I said. “We got along.”

“You got along?” Cam laughed again. “Is that Ren language for we fucked each other’s brains out whenever we could?”

I laughed a little. “Yes, essentially.”

He quietened. “What happened?”

“My father.”

“Ah.”

“He made him sign an NDA.” I swallowed. The hurt was old, so the memory didn’t ache like it used to. But hearing it now reminded me of the man who had so much control over my life. “Threatened to ruin his dance career if it ever came out that we’d been romantically involved.”

“Fuck. Ren?” Cam twisted in my arms, creating a few inches of space between us so he could look up. He peered into my eyes. “That’s fucked up, you know that, right?”

“I know. It was part of the reason my father left me back then.”

His flushed, pretty face screwed into a frown. “I meant Goro’s fucked up for doing that, not you.”

“I know . . .”

“What happened to your guy?”

“He quit dance.” I looked down at the rumpled sheets between us and swallowed the ache of old memories. “I think he went to work at London Zoo instead.”

After a few beats, Cam said, “Zoos are good too. Conservation is important.” That clearly had not been the first thing he’d wanted to say.

He was trying to lighten my mood. And it worked. I smiled back at him, then reached out and flicked his hair back, out of his eyes.

“Do you and the guy still talk?”

“No, we didn’t talk at all after the NDA.”

“Yeah, that’s gonna kill any romance, I guess.”

I snorted. “It did.”

“You uh . . . Ren?” He touched my face, skimmed his fingers along my jaw. “You need to get away from him.”

Him being my father, of course. I closed my eyes and shook my head, shaking off his touch. It wasn’t as simple as walking away. “I don’t want to talk about him here.”

“Okay, yeah. Sorry.”

I couldn’t bring him into the room with us. Because if I did, I’d say something about my father’s current efforts to ruin Cam’s career, and I could not say it now and ruin this. Ruin us. Cam would despise me. I would tell him. I’d have to, at some point. Later. Not right after he’d had news of his friend’s death.