Page 10

He smiled. “Exactly.”

I considered the room, which had all the charm of a cheap hotel. Not that I’d stayed in many. “The room service menu is lacking.”

Logan laughed and tapped his pen on the desk. “That’s a good one. I’ll have to remember that one.” He leaned forward conspiratorially. “Speaking of food, how was breakfast?”

“Edible.”

He laughed again. “That’s the best we can hope for.” Then he straightened in his chair, his easygoing manner giving way to something more professional. “Let’s talk drugs, shall we?”

“Sure. What have you got?”

He didn’t laugh this time, but the slight bite of his lip indicated he felt tempted. “When did you last take something?”

“Something? I had a headache three days ago and took some ibuprofen. Does that count?” I knew I was being difficult, but who wanted to discuss their drug intake before ten in the morning. Certainly not me.

He gave me a long look. “Was that the last thing you took?”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “If I say it was, can we both agree that I shouldn’t be here and you can call me a cab?”

He smiled. “If only life were that simple.”

“It can be.”

He plucked a piece of paper from the file and waved it at me. “Your blood test results.”

Fuck! I’d forgotten that they’d drawn blood the previous night. By that point, it had seemed easier to go along with everything they wanted. In retrospect, I wished I’d kept my blood in my arm where it belonged. At least until it had been long enough for any substances to no longer be detectable.

“If you already know what I took, then why ask?”

Logan gave me an apologetic grimace. “I wanted to see where we stood on you telling the truth.” He lowered his gaze to the paper. “Quite a mixture. Traces of alcohol, cocaine, ketamine, and MDMA.”

I remembered drinking tequila, doing a line of coke at the beginning of the night, and taking an MDMA pill once the coke had worn off, but I had absolutely no recollection of the ketamine. It was possible someone had mixed it into the cocaine, in which case I’d be having words with the guy who’d supplied it. Then again, it was also possible I’d simply forgotten or been too off-my-face to know what I was doing.

“If you say so.”

“Blood tests don’t lie, unfortunately.”

“Maybe you mixed mine up with someone else’s. Someone will probably come staggering in here later, and you’ll start lecturing them about their dependence on ibuprofen.” The thought made me laugh. Logan, who was looking more like Dr. Collins by the second, didn’t.

Instead, he studied the paper again. “Mr. Bennett told us you’ve been having thoughts about taking your own life.”

I’d never really understood dramatic expressions about the bottom dropping out of someone’s world or the earth tilting beneath their feet. In that moment, I understood both.

“He said what?” My voice sounded distant, as though it belonged to someone else. “When?”

Logan removed another sheet of paper from the file. It was all I could do not to snatch it out of his hand and read it myself.

“He was with me the whole time,” I said. “He can’t have said that.”

“I understand there was a phone conversation before your arrival. Not with me—probably with a nurse.” He lifted his gaze to mine, his expression full of practiced empathy. “Do you want to talk about what made you feel as though there was nothing left worth living for?”

“I would if it had ever happened.” I suddenly regretted not being honest about the drugs I’d taken. Any denial I made now would probably sound like another lie. “I party. I take drugs. I’ve been upset since my mother was…” The word murdered lodged in my throat, sharp and immovable. “Since she died.” I leaned forward, needing him to believe me. “But I have never considered ending my life. Not once. Tyler lied.”

“I understand.”

I could recognize a platitude when I heard one. “I really don’t think you do.”

Logan closed the file and steepled his fingers in front of him. “No one is making any assumptions about you. We’ll have plenty of opportunities to discuss anything that’s bothering you and the coping mechanisms you use to deal with it. If those mechanisms aren’t working or involve substances that might be harmful in the long term, then we’ll work with you to change that. It’s what we’re here for.”