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He swallowed. “Escort?”
I sat up. “Oh!”
He followed, his body turned toward mine. “I mean, it’s probably not fair of me to ask. It’s not like I expect you to say no. I’ll find it difficult, but—” He stopped. I had a feeling he’d caught himself in a lie.
I intervened before he could dig himself a deeper hole. “Which escorting are you talking about? The type where I go on dates. Or the type where I, well, you know?”
He grimaced. “The sex type. And I know that makes me a hypocrite. You don’t need to tell me that. I—”
I silenced him by leaning forward and pressing a lingering kiss to his lips. “I already told you. I haven’t done that since you. I only did it a few times. And nobody more than once. I’m not proud of it. I—”
He shushed me, lying back down and pulling my head onto his shoulder. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I don’t care about the past. I only care about the future. I just needed to know.”
I relaxed, closing my eyes and trusting in his words. “I’ll probably still need to go on dates though.”
He stiffened. “Need! Why?”
“I have to pay the bills. You know, rent, utilities, phone bills. They don’t pay for themselves.”
He didn’t respond for so long I thought he’d gone to sleep. When he did there was a strange note of caution present in his voice. “You could always move in here.”
For a moment, the thought filled me with a strange optimism. Then reality set in. I lifted my head, looking him in the eye. “You’re asking me for the wrong reason. I can’t move in here because you don’t want me to go on paid dates with other men. We only got to about the fourth or fifth date. It’s too soon.” I laid my finger on his lips when he looked like he was about to argue. “I’m not saying no. I’m saying not now. And not for that reason. Ask me again in a few months.”
He nodded. “You’re right.”
I laid my head back on his chest, smiling when I realized it was the scarred side and he had absolutely no issue with it.
Epilogue
Six Months later
I stared out of the window at the van parked outside. Strong arms came around me, pulling me back against a broad chest. I smiled, covering the hands linked around my waist with my own. We both just breathed together for a moment until Justin finally broke the silence. “You don’t have to pretend you’re not sad, you know.”
“I’m not sad.”
He squeezed harder and simply waited, both of us watching the conversation going on outside the van.
I sighed. “Okay, so I’ll miss Georgia. We’ve lived together for years. It would be strange if I wasn’t sad, right?” Like we’d agreed months ago, rather than jumping in with both feet, we’d continued to date with things gradually escalating to the point where if one of us didn’t stay over at the other’s house, I could hardly bear to wake up without him there. He’d obviously felt the same. Either that, or he’d had a pre-ordained time in his head that he’d wait before asking me to move in again. Only problem had been Georgia. There was no way she could afford the rent on her own. Hell, we’d hardly been able to afford it together. With that in mind, I’d turned him down, saying I wasn’t ready. It had taken Justin two weeks to get the real reason out of me.
Then he’d solved it in one easy step; suggesting Georgia move in too. The three of us had lived together happily for the past three months. Sure, there’d been some awkward moments. Georgia had learned the hard way that continuing to barge into my bedroom without knocking was a really bad idea. She claimed that the image of Justin and me making love was still emblazoned on her eyelids and gave her nightmares sometimes. I told her there were millions of people out there that would have paid good money for the free show she got.
She’d continued to date Jack, the four of us going out on a number of occasions. It should have been weird considering how Justin and Jack had met. But, actually they got on well together. As for me and Jack, we still couldn’t manage to find anything to talk about. On the rare occasion we were left in a room on our own, we inevitably had to talk about the only thing we had in common: Georgia. A fact Justin never failed to find absolutely hilarious. He’d taken to deliberately leaving us and timing how long it took us to lapse into complete silence. Anyway, my relationship with Jack wasn’t important. He treated Georgia like a princess and that was all that mattered. Their relationship had gained momentum quickly, and now she was moving in with him. So, our days of living together were coming to an end.
I watched from the window as she held one finger up to Jack’s friend, the driver of the van, to signal she’d be back in one minute. She set off down the path to return to the house without spotting me at the window. Justin slowly unwound himself from me. “I’m going to give you two some alone time.”
He exited the room as Georgia entered it. She forced a smile, but her lip trembled as if she was close to bursting into tears. “Well, everything’s in the van, so I guess I’m ready to go.” I nodded, pulling her in for a long hug, not trusting myself to speak. She pulled back, tears glinting in her eyes. “God, this is stupid. I’m like twenty minutes away. Less, if there’s no traffic. We’ll see each other all the time, right?”
I finally found words. “Of course.”
“And next week”—she paused— “when Justin’s in the hospital, if you want to come and stay with us rather than rattling around in this house on your own, then you can.” Her expression immediately changed at the look on my face. “You still haven’t spoken to him, have you?” I shook my head. She sighed. “You’ve got to speak to him. Tell him how you feel. Promise me you will.”
I pulled her in for one last hug, muttering my response into her hair. “I will. I promise. I just have to think of the right way to bring the subject up.”
“You better.” She pulled back. “Right, Jack’s waiting and we’re both being drama queens, turning this into some huge thing when it isn’t. So…I’m just going to walk out of this room and leave now. I’ll call you later.” She did just that, refusing to even turn around and only offering a backward wave as she left the room.
She was right. I still couldn’t help standing at the window to watch her climb into the van. It pulled away from the curb leaving an empty street.
“What do you need to speak to me about?”