Page 37

“No.” I sighed. “Not at all. I can explain. But…you’re probably still going to be pissed.”

He sat back. “Try me.”

“I have this friend, Georgia. We live together. She wanted me to date more. She set me up on a date, which…didn’t go well.”

With Jack looking like he was rapidly running out of patience, I decided I should get to the point quicker. “Anyway…to cut a long story short. She set up a profile on Grindr for me. She’s been the one you’ve been talking to all this time, not me. We’ve never had an online conversation. I’m sorry.”

Jack rubbed at his temple, clearly struggling to digest the information I’d just given him. “We’ve never spoken at all.”

“No. Sorry.”

He let out a long exhale. “Then why did you just let”—he pointed to the empty chair recently vacated by Justin—“him believe we had.”

“It’s really complicated. Our relationship, well…it didn’t end in a good way. He’s finding it hard to accept that I don’t want to dissect it. That I just want to move on. I needed to get rid of him. It seemed like an effective way. Thanks for going along with it by the way. I appreciate it.”

There was a long silence where neither of us spoke. Finally, I broke it. “It’s a shame you’re gay. You and Georgia obviously had an awful lot in common and got along really well.”

Jack laughed. “Who said I was gay? I’m bi.”

Chapter Eighteen

“I’m so excited!”

Georgia squealed the words directly into my ear, causing me to almost leap off the sofa. I had to admit though, I was finding it difficult to hold back a smile as we huddled together in the center of the sofa, snacks at the ready. In about five minutes’ time, I was going to find out how many of the scenes I’d filmed for the BBC drama they’d kept in. Disappointed at my lack of reaction, Georgia thumped me in the arm. “Admit you’re excited too.”

I took a large handful of popcorn before attempting to bring her back down to Earth. “You know it wasn’t a huge part, right? And that’s before some of my scenes probably ended up on the editing room floor. Sometimes, they even cut parts altogether. So, don’t build it up too much. I don’t want you to be disappointed.”

She thumped me in the arm again, evidently choosing to ignore what I’d just said. “You’re going to be on the BBC! My friend is going to be in an actual proper TV program, which millions of people will watch. Do you think Justin will see it?”

My smile slowly slid off my face. Well that was one way to eradicate the good mood I’d just been in. It was a month since the night Justin had turned up during my date with Jack. A month in which there’d been no contact between us at all: no messages, no calls, no visits to the restaurant, nothing. He’d done exactly what I’d asked him to and had left me alone. “I doubt it. I expect if he accidentally turned over and saw my face, he’d probably switch it off.”

Georgia cuddled in closer. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have mentioned him.”

“It’s fine.” It wasn’t fine. It was far from fine. I’d gotten what I wanted. Only problem with that was, the more time that had passed, the less it felt right. I still thought about him—often. Not so much about the whole picture but more about the two separate halves I missed equally—the man in the light, I’d laughed with and shared so many kisses with, and the man in the dark, the one who’d wrenched blinding orgasms from me with expert touches. Sometimes, I even managed to convince myself there must have been some mistake, that there was no way it could have been the same man.

“You could still call him you know.”

I swiveled my head toward Georgia. “No, I couldn’t.”

“Why?”

“I’ve left it too long. And I deleted his number.”

She rolled her eyes. “Like you don’t still have a message on your phone or something.”

“I don’t. I deleted those too.”

She sighed. “You know where he lives.”

I shook my head. I’d be lying if I said it hadn’t occurred to me. But, what would I say. “Hi, Justin, I was just passing and thought we could have that chat, you know the one I absolutely point blank refused to have with you weeks ago.” No. Much better to accept it just wasn’t meant to be.

Georgia sighed again, even more loudly this time. She turned her whole body toward mine, trying to catch my gaze as I deliberately avoided looking at her. “If you were happy, Dean, I’d leave you alone. But, you’re so miserable. You have been…ever since…well, you know. All you do is work. Just, talk to him.”

My headshake became even more pronounced. “Even if I wanted to…it’s been a month. He’s probably already moved on.”

“You don’t know that. Plus, if he has, that’s probably only because you led him to believe you were cheating on him.”

I fixed her with a stony glare. “And whose fault’s that?”