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I opened my own wallet to find an empty notes compartment. There should have been money in there. A sudden recollection came to me. I’d needed petrol that afternoon. I’d used the money to pay for it. I’d turned up to a date without any money. I had a debit card, but I was already overdrawn. Any money I made seemed to be immediately swallowed up by rent, bills or unexpected costs like having to replace the damn washing machine or issues with my car. If I tried to pay with my debit card, it would probably be refused. Mortified, I continued to stare at my wallet, rapidly running through possible solutions. I could ring Georgia, but even if she did have money, she could hardly get to the restaurant in the next five minutes. My brother would be a safer bet, but then again it would take too long.

“Is everything okay?”

I steeled myself to lift my head and face him. When I did, I was met with a look of concern. For some reason that just made it worse. “Erm…I thought…that is…erm…I had money in there this afternoon…and I forgot that I got petrol. I can’t—”

Seeing my discomfort, Justin interjected quickly. “Hey. No problem. I wanted to pay anyway, remember.” He added more notes to the pile in the middle of the table before quickly changing the subject. I was left with a strange mixture of gratefulness and embarrassment. I was beginning to wonder whether this date had been an absolute nightmare or a roaring success.

Chapter Ten

We both stood awkwardly outside the restaurant: that post-date, has it ended; will we see each other again; do we like each other awkwardness. Justin had moved away from the streetlight to the shadows, the scarred side of his face turned away from the street with its flurry of passing people. I wondered if he was even aware he did it, or whether it had become a subconscious action on his part. Whichever it was, the fact he felt the need to hide, filled me with sadness. I wanted to pull him into the light and say to hell with what everyone else might think or say. That they didn’t matter. That only the two of us mattered. Which was stupid, considering I’d only spent a few hours with the man.

I shuffled my feet nervously. After the money fiasco, there was a part of me that would have liked nothing more than to make a quick exit, but another part didn’t want the evening to end. I took a deep breath, preparing myself for a possible rejection. “We could go for a walk down to the river? Only, if you want to, of course. If it’s too late, or you’re tired, then I’ll understand completely.”

He smiled. I was quickly becoming attached to that crooked grin. “I’d like that.”

I returned his smile. “Great! Let’s go.”

We fell into step together, walking in an easy companionable silence, neither of us feeling the overwhelming need to fill it. It was still early enough that there were a fair number of people milling about on the streets of London. A pair of clearly inebriated girls narrowly avoided stumbling into us as they clambered into a taxi. The near collision broke the silence. We both started talking at the same time, only to stop and laugh when we realized what we’d done. I waved a hand in his direction. “Go on. You first. What were you going to say?”

Justin slid his hands into his pockets. “I hope you don’t feel bad that I ended up paying for dinner. I was happy to. Hell, I wanted to. I don’t want you feeling embarrassed about it.”

Surprised he’d brought the subject up, it took me a moment to answer. “Of course, I’m embarrassed. I’d normally have had the money, but…well, something…fell through this week.”

Next to me, Justin visibly stiffened. I frowned, looking over at him and trying to work out where this sudden tension had come from. I gave the area a quick scan. Had someone said something? Stared at him in a particularly derogatory way? I couldn’t see anyone in the vicinity that seemed to be the cause of it. Strange. We rounded the corner, the South Bank and the familiar view of the Thames now in sight.

Justin flicked a glance across. “It must be hard…trying to make money between acting jobs.”

I shrugged. “It’s my choice. I could get a proper job. I’ll probably have to one day, if the acting doesn’t take off in the next couple of years. There’s only so long you can keep chasing a dream. One day you have to face facts.”

“So, that’s why you wait tables?”

I nodded.

“Is that all you do?”

A group of people tumbled out of the doorway of a restaurant straight in front of us, pushing each other good-naturedly. I used the distraction as a welcome excuse to avoid answering Justin’s question straight away. I was reluctant to lie. But then, I could hardly tell the truth if I wanted to see him again. I didn’t want him to turn his nose up at me and realize what a lucky escape he’d had. I played dumb. “What do you mean?”

He turned slightly, his gaze fixed on my face. “I just wondered if there was a third job? You said something fell through. It didn’t sound like you were talking about an acting job.”

“Oh no, that was”—unable to think of a suitable white lie, I settled for keeping it deliberately vague— “something else.”

We’d reached the edge of the river. I hooked my elbows over the wall, leaning forward to look at the city lights spread out in front of me. It provided a perfect excuse to avoid looking across and finding out whether my poor explanation had been accepted or whether he was going to question me further. I prayed for the former. Justin mirrored my position, our elbows touching. For a few moments, neither of us spoke while we admired the view.

It was easy to sense when Justin’s attention switched to me. Figuring enough time had safely passed for the subject to have been dropped, I risked a glance across. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” He nodded, but his eyes stayed fixed on me.

He shifted his body to face me, a guarded expression on his face. “I’ve really enjoyed tonight.” He paused, as if choosing his next words carefully. “If I ask you something, can you promise to answer honestly? I don’t want you to say…what you think I want to hear. I want the truth. Can you promise me that?”

Affected by the earnestness in his voice, it was my turn to mirror his position leaving us face-to-face. “I promise.” I wondered what he was going to ask. If the conversation went back to my mystery third job, I’d have to spill the beans. I could already imagine the immediate look of disgust that would cross his face. I knew I could kiss goodbye to any chance of seeing him again.

He shifted forward slightly. “Okay, so as I already said, I really enjoyed tonight. But, I realize that…this”—he waved his hand in the vicinity of the damaged half of his face—“affects things.”

I opened my mouth to interject, but something in his face stopped me. I closed it again and let him finish.

“As I said, I know it affects things. You’ve given me the idea tonight that it’s not a big issue. But, I don’t know if that’s the truth.” He smiled, a small almost embarrassed smile. “I really want to see you again. But, if you don’t want to. Or…you’re going to agree just because you feel sorry for me, then I’d rather you just told me that now. I don’t want to be strung along. I—”

I found myself smiling broadly, the “I really want to see you again” echoing in my head.

He stopped. “What? What’s so funny?”