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Caroline’s pointed stare said she wasn’t willing to do all the work, that I had to figure some things out for myself. I thought through everything she’d told me. “You’re telling me if he wanted to go, he would,” I said slowly. “It’s not that simple, though, is it? Because he loves me. I’m not disputing that.”
Caroline raised an eyebrow. “And do you think that teenage boy, the one who only had a grandmother after his mother and father died, didn’t love me?”
“Of course not.” Heat that had nothing to do with the tea crept into my cheeks.
“But he left anyway,” she said. “Love doesn’t keep someone somewhere if they’re not happy.” She leaned closer. “But if you keep pushing him away, maybe one day he’ll go. Just to get a moment’s peace.”
“I’m not pushing him away.” Even as I said it, I knew it was a lie. When had we switched roles so that I’d become the liar? I’d become so convinced I knew what August wanted that I’d stopped listening when he told me I was wrong.
“Is he still teaching you to read?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
“What kind of teacher is he?”
“Terrible. Impatient. Critical.” He had an interesting reward system, but I wasn’t about to share that with his grandmother.
“And what else do you do together?”
“We walk. We talk. We take the bike out sometimes when he’s sure it won’t rain. We play cards, even though he always cheats.” He did. It turned out a conman couldn’t break all of his habits.
“You have sex,” Caroline added. “Or are we pretending you share a bed like brothers?”
“Jesus,” I muttered, suddenly unable to look at her. August had told me she was up front with certain things, and I’d seen his face when he’d read parts of her diary, but hearing about it and being on the receiving end of it were two different things.
“Is it good sex?”
Could you choke on tea? I wanted to try. Maybe if I tipped the rest of the liquid down my throat all in one go. “You should ask August,” I muttered.
“Hmm… I should ask the one I’m related to rather than the person he’s having it with, should I?” I shrugged. “I’m going to assume it is good.” She smirked. “So you have good sex, you do plenty of things together, he’s teaching you to read and write, you’re teaching him to shoot a crossbow, and you both help with the farming. What’s missing?”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“You’re convinced he’s not happy. That must mean something’s missing.” She thought for a moment. “Maybe you’re boring.”
“I’m not!” It came out far more defensive than I’d intended.
Caroline hid a smile behind her hand. “Just a suggestion.”
“I get it,” I said. “You don’t have to hammer it home. I should stop assuming he’s not being honest and listen to him.”
Caroline set her cup down. “Where were you going before?”
“Out.”
Her look said that vague answers wouldn’t wash with her. “To see August? To sort things out?”
The lie on the tip of my tongue shriveled beneath her hard stare. “No.”
She nodded, unsurprised. “Why not?”
I sighed. “Because I’m a stubborn son of a bitch who convinced himself the argument was August’s fault.”
Caroline shifted her position, sitting up straighter. “I won’t be around forever to bang your heads together.”
“We would have made up.”
“When?”
