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“I don’t know either.”

He laughed softly, and we both stared out over the grounds, watching a blackbird peck at the ground hoping to find a worm.

“I let you down,” I said.

He frowned. “How?”

“I let you spend weeks ingratiating yourself with the Seekers, with him, only to balk when it came down to killing him. I told you that’s all I wanted, that I dreamed of it, and then…” My words trailed off.

“People can change their minds,” August said. “You never know how you’ll feel about something until the moment comes.”

“You make it sound so simple.”

“It is. You did nothing wrong.”

“I put you in danger.”

August snorted. “Until Bruce pulled a gun, the Seekers were about as dangerous as my grandmother.”

I laughed. “I suspect your grandmother is plenty dangerous given the right trigger.”

“You’re probably right. I should have found a better analogy.”

“So you’re not mad at me for changing my mind?”

“No.”

“Is that a lie?”

“No. I told you I wouldn’t lie to you anymore, and I meant it.”

“That could have been a lie.”

“It wasn’t. I swear on my grandma’s life.”

I nodded. Something stirred in the bushes. Probably the mate of the blackbird still hoping to unearth something tasty. “If you’re not angry, why haven’t you said anything? Why have we been wasting oxygen talking about the weather?”

“Because I thought you needed time. Dover was a lot.”

“It was,” I agreed.

“How are the bees?”

“Quieter. I don’t think they’ll ever fully go away. I’ll always feel guilty I wasn’t there when my family needed me, but now it’s a buzz, not a roar. It’s manageable.”

“Good.”

The clipped tone made me swivel around to face him. “What happens now?”

“You tell me.”

Still clipped. I was missing something here. “I’ll change the question. Where are we going?”

“I’m going back to my grandma’s.”

“And I’m not invited?”

His head snapped toward me so fast I almost reared back. “Are you serious?”