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Tears blur my vision as I grip the silver goblet. I’m about to swipe them away, but then I stop myself, an idea coming into focus.

It’s a completely pathetic idea, but it might just be pathetic enough to work.

Placing the goblet back onto the nightstand, I sob loudly.

Castor flinches. “What is it?”

I keep sobbing, hugging my pillow like it’s Dahlia or Fern. “I’m so afraid!” I wail. “I can’t bear this!”

“Why? What’s wrong?” he demands, but I can barely hear him over my cries.

“It’s going to hurt so much,” I sob. “Ami said losing her virtue felt like she was being torn in two!” She did not, but judging by how much she blushed when Dahlia kept asking her about her first time, I’m probably not far off.

Castor huffs. “Eden, it doesn’t have to feel like⁠—”

“Oh, I’m so afraid, Castor!”

“You do not have to be⁠—”

“I’m so scared I feel faint.” I touch my forehead, wheezing. “Oh Stars my heart is racing. I feel like I might die!”

Panic flashes across his features. “I’ll fetch Lux.”

“No! Please don’t!” I yell, letting tears stream down my cheeks. After this, I’ll never hate how sensitive I am again. “I’m so scared of him right now. I need…” I wheeze. “I need…”

“What is it?” he demands. “What do you need?”

“I need Maxine!”

His shoulders sag.

“Please have someone fetch her for me,” I beg. “Please, Castor! I just know if I had her here I would feel so much better.”

His lips form a tight line. “You need the cat?”

“Yes,” I breathe. “Please, Castor. Even if she just sits in my lap until I fall asleep. Just her presence will calm me.”

To be honest, even if this plan completely fails and I’m unlucky enough for there to be a servant close enough to fetch Maxine for him, I wouldn’t complain. She would help to soothe the awful anxiety in my chest.

“Fine,” he grunts. “Take your medicine and I will go and fetch her.”

My heart soars. “Thank you!” I lift the goblet to my lips, praying silently that he doesn’t check the cup before he leaves.

After a few fake swallows, I lower the still-full goblet and roll over onto my side. I have to hide my grin as he leaves without looking back, pulling the door shut behind him.

Seconds later, I spring out of my bed, only for my ankle to almost force me straight back to it.

“Stars!” I cry, but somehow I stay standing. It takes me a few hops to make it across the room.

Once I reach the door, I press my ear against it, making sure the hallway is silent before I open it quietly.

I almost sob again when I find the hallway just as empty of guards as it was this morning.

Half-hopping, half-stumbling against the wall, I make my way down the corridor. A few times, I consider crawling, but I doubt it would make the pain in my ankle any less awful.

Maybe I should’ve taken some of that medicine… I can barely think through the pain. A metallic taste forces me to stop biting my lip. Blood dribbles down my chin and splashes against the wooden floor.

“Damn it,” I whisper, but I keep going anyway. There’ll be medicine at home. I can spend the next six weeks in bed surrounded by Father’s best healers. I just have to make it there first.