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I’d forgotten. Fuck.

“Have you heard anything?” Bailey asks.

John takes off his flat cap and scratches his head. “I spoke to the doctor. Theo was unconscious and hypothermic when he was brought in. They’re running tests for decompression sickness and concussion, but so far, he just seems a bit banged up.”

Bailey pulls out his phone and starts typing. I snatch it from his hands before he can scare himself. The last thing he needs to know is how many ways Theo could die.

“Stick to the facts. He’s okay right now,” I tell him. He groans in frustration, dropping down into a chair.

I sit next to him, and we wait in silence.

ROBBIE

I stumble down the corridor, my ears ringing. The walls warp, and I throw out my hand. Isla tries to catch me, but she only slows my fall as my knees crash to the tiled floor.

“Alright, big guy,” she says, taking some of my weight. “Theo is fine, okay? The doctor said he hit his head, so they’re just keeping an eye on him for a bit.”

I feel like I’m fourteen again, when John told me everything was going to be alright, but my da was gone, and he wasn’t coming home.

I don’t want to go through that again—I can’t.

“You need to calm down,” Isla says firmly.

Footsteps clip across the floor towards us, and then a warm hand is on my forehead. “Theo’s awake, love. Bailey’s in with him at the moment, but you can see him shortly, alright?”

I look up into Ellen’s soft brown eyes and nod. I stay on the floor for a few moments, until my breathing slows. Ellen and Isla support me as I get to my feet, and we walk back to the waiting room.

Bailey’s been in with Theo for far too long, and I’m counting every minute. The waiting room fades away as I stare into the distance, waiting to be told I can see him.

My mind drifts to Noah, and what a hypocrite I was last night. I couldn’t understand how he was struggling so much after twenty years, yet here I am, struggling along with him. It’s not quite the same—I don’t have nightmares, and I can talk about my ma and da easily enough, but I haven’t had to deal with someone I love dying in a long time.

My fear for Theo has shoved me back in time, and now I can’t shake it.

There are too many people in this waiting room I’ll eventually lose: Isla, John, Ellen, Richard …

My eyes land on Noah, and I swallow. I thought I’d kept feelings out of … whatever this is. I swore I could handle a one-time thing. But he’s been worming his way under my skin since the moment I laid eyes on him again.

He’s so different from when I first met him. The quiet sadness that used to hang over him has been buried, making room for this firecracker of a brat. But I realise now that the sadness hasn’t gone anywhere—the two are coexisting in him. It makes me want to protect him from himself.

But then who’s protecting me?

I need to stay the hell away from him, but I think it’s already too late.

Theo’s upright and gives me a rare, hesitant smile as I come into the room.

“Hey,” he says hoarsely.

I don’t move closer than the doorway, folding my arms across my chest. Seeing him alive and well should stop the anxiety, yet I still can’t control how heavily I’m breathing and it’s pissing me off.

“You scared the shit out of me.”

“It was an accident, Rob, the line⁠—”

“You should stop diving.” I know everyone’s going to die eventually, but I don’t see why Theo’s trying his best to speed it up.

He sighs and leans back against his pillows. “You know I can’t. It’s where I feel safe⁠—”

“Safe?”