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“Sure, you can stay. Can I go get dressed now?” I stand up, pointing to the towel that’s barely wrapped around my hips. Noah’s eyes slide down my body, and a pretty pink blush colours his cheeks. “Maybe I should have some rules too,” I wonder.
He quickly looks away, folding his arms across his chest. “If you want.”
“First,” I say, holding a finger up to him like he did to me, “I want your phone number.”
NOAH
I wake up from what feels like the deepest sleep I’ve had in years. The space beside me is empty; all that’s left to remind me Robbie was here is the faint smell of his cologne on the sheets.
I roll over and stretch. My mind’s empty … too empty. My chest feels spiky, and I squeeze my eyes closed, trying to picture Jamie. I can see him beside me, but he’s all soft shapes and colours. The harder I focus on his face, the more distorted it becomes. My throat tightens as the familiar panic creeps in—Jamie is leaving me. I take a few deep breaths to try and calm down, then get out of bed.
It’s fine. Just try again later.
Downstairs in the kitchen, I force myself to eat something. There’s nothing quick in the fridge except fruit. I’m not in the mood for that. My brain wants something crunchy and heavy on the carbs, so I search every cupboard until I finally find an unopened box of cereal.
I tuck myself into the corner of the sofa with my full bowl and look around the living room properly. It feels frozen in time. The floral wallpaper is peeling in the corners, and the beige carpet has definitely seen better days. If his parents moved out and left him this cottage, then I don’t understand why he hasn’t done anything with it.
Maybe he’s too busy working out and fucking his way around the island to care about home improvements. Richard jokes about him spending more time at the gym than at his actual home, and I’m inclined to believe it. I don’t think I’ve seen him wear anything other than athleisure since I got to this island, constantly parading himself around in his slutty little shorts with the high slits up the sides, baring his arse to the world.
Not that I care.
I put a spoonful of cereal in my mouth and gag, spitting it back into the bowl. Of course it’s soggy. I curse Robbie for distracting me and take the bowl to the kitchen, giving up on breakfast.
I’ve spent the majority of the day lying in bed, doomscrolling on my phone. It’s the first day since I arrived that I have nothing to do. The barn renovation was finished yesterday. Bailey is still in Cumbria, and, according to his texts, he and Theo are working things out. Jake has gone with Katie to Portree for the day. Robbie’s at work. Richard and Isla are spending quality time together, as the wedding is only a couple of days away.
And I’m just … left. I try to reason with myself that everyone has their own shit to do, but my brain won’t let it fucking rest that I’m not important enough to anyone.
I was important to Jamie.
He wanted to spend all his time with me, and I pushed him away every single time. He must have hated me by the end. I’d have deserved it.
I groan, rubbing my cheeks until they’re on fire.
“Jamie?” I croak.
Nothing.
The bed tilts wildly beneath me, and nausea sits at the back of my throat. It’s been less than forty-eight hours since I last felt him, but the panic hits me hard, like that was the last time I’ll ever see him. He said I was still mean. He hates me.
I get out of bed and storm into the bathroom. Stripping off my clothes, I step into the shower and turn the water on, twisting the tap all the way to cold. My teeth start chattering after five minutes, and I can’t feel my toes after ten. I stay under the freezing water until I can’t stand it anymore.
With my heart racing, I climb out and stand in front of the mirror.
I wait.
I wait and I wait, but he doesn’t come. I growl, clenching my hands into fists.
“You’re not allowed to leave me!”
“Noah, answer your brother.”
I try to open my mouth to speak, but something’s stopping me. My lips are fused together, sealed so tight I can’t even breathe.
“Noah. Don’t ignore your brother, answer him.”
I’m trying! God, I’m trying, but it won’t let me! Tears soak my cheeks as I stare wide-eyed at Jamie. He’s screaming, thrashing about in his seat as he cries.
“Help me, Noah! Why aren’t you helping me?”