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“What about you? What did you do this weekend?” he asked.

“I went to Spirals. It’s a gay club. A friend of mine was celebrating a promotion. She and her wife love to dance, and that’s the best place for it.” I didn’t say that I went home alone. He really didn’t need to know that.

“Sounds like a fun night.”

“It was. I liked hanging out with friends, although I think I’m too old for clubs. Or maybe they should give us the option of midday club outings. Then everyone can be home by eight.”

He laughed. “I was never into clubs or late nights either, but I did go to a wicked bachelor party at Spirals about fifteen years ago.”

I smiled as I tried to picture Jack there amongst a throng of twinks, and even though I didn’t really know what Jack looked like, I could guess based on his burly tone. He was not a twink.

“Did you also leave early and go home alone?” I asked without thinking, then cringed since I had given away how I’d really spent my weekend.

“Actually, if I’m honest, I don’t think I did. If I remember right, that was not terribly long after my divorce and I was finally able to embrace my interest in guys. I married Maya’s mom while I was in college, and we were together a long time. I always knew I was bi, she did, too. I think both of us explored that side of ourselves after our divorce.”

Oookay. So, not totally straight then. Fantastic.

I didn’t know what to say to that, so I went with, “That’s great.” I winced and grasped for something on my desk to fidget with. “But seriously, you should pick up a hobby. You can’t rearrange your landscaping all the time.”

He sighed heavily again, and I could almost picture him leaning back on whatever he was sitting on. Maybe he was in his chair watching the birds at the bird feeder outside, drinking his afternoon tea, a habit I knew about because he’d told me it was just as entertaining as reality television, if you gave the birds their own personality and made up the dialogue in your head.

“I know. I just don’t know where to begin. I used to be busy and be around people. I had a purpose, and now I just feel lost.”

My heart ached for him. “I understand that. I feel that way, too. If I didn’t have my co-workers, I feel like I’d hardly socialize with anyone. That’s what terrifies me about retirement honestly.” I didn’t mention that I thought I’d have a partner at this stage in my life. Relationships had never worked out for me, though.

“I know that’s a common thing that retired people experience. I’m not unique. I just—”

“It’s different cause it’s you. And you didn’t expect it?”

“Exactly. You get it. I tried a few different things and social groups when I first retired, but I just never clicked with anyone. Not like — not like…” He let out a sigh, and I thought for a moment, maybe he was just as into this as I was, but like me, he was reluctant to say the words for fear of rejection.

“Not like you clicked with me?” I said, throwing out a life raft to myself in this drowning conversation. He could pick it up and run with it, or let it float there into the abyss, leaving my feelings to drift out to sea.

“Exactly.” His sigh this time was one of relief. “Yes. Not like I clicked with you. Or like how I clicked with my crew when I was working. People used to need me, and now they don’t.”

My timer went off.

“Fuck, I have to get back to work. Call me later, please?” Even though we usually kept our conversations to once a day, I had to talk to him again. I had to. “If you’re not busy, I mean, can you? I want to keep talking.”

“I do, too. I’ll call you.”

“Bye, Jack.”

“Bye, Connor.”

The phone clicked as we hung up. I laid my head down on my desk. I was in so much trouble. I was addicted to this man I’d never even met, never seen in person, yet I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

“Uh-oh. You didn’t have that many drinks last night.”

I lifted my head off my desk to find my friend Thomas sitting nearby.

“We didn’t even go out last night. That was Saturday,” I reminded him.

He shrugged. “It all blended together for me. I think I slept all of Sunday. Turns out Jell-O shots do not mix well with your 40s.”

“No shit,” I said.

“Were you talking to your man?” Thomas rolled his chair closer to me, as if the two of us had all the time in the world and the floor manager wasn’t going to come around at any moment to check on us.