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I’d grabbed my phone and purse and headed right over to Alona’s house without even calling first. I didn’t need to, and I knew that. My sister took one look at my face and told Jayden to go away. He’d slunk away to the basement where he’d set up his “man cave” with all the weird crap Alona wouldn’t let him keep in the main house, like his Pac Man game and dart board.
Once we got rid of her husband, Alona asked if I wanted tequila or tea. When I said tea, she screeched, “Are you pregnant?”
That’s the thing about my sister and me: as different as we were, we were each other’s best friend and knew each other better than anyone else in the world. We sat at the kitchen table drinking peppermint tea and mainlining Oreos as I spilled the whole story.
When I was finished, Alona was silent for several minutes, thinking. My sister was a processor, so I ate two more Oreos and waited for her to gather her thoughts.
“You always wanted to have a baby and a family,” she reminded me finally. “You used to talk about it a lot.”
“Yeah,” I acknowledged, “But I figured it was too late. Plus I’m the flighty one in the family, I’d be a terrible mother.”
“Flighty one? What are you talking about?” Alona asked, looking perplexed.
“You all think I’m flighty and irresponsible.”
“All who?” she asked.
“You. Mama. Tato.” Each word came out emphatically.
“What are you even talking about right now, Olga? No one thinks that.”
“I’m not married, I don’t own a house, I get evicted every year or two, and my job is to make someone rich not improve people’s lives like yours does,” I said. “The whole family thinks I’m a failure.”
Alona gave me a look that clearly conveyed that she thought I was crazy.
“You have a great job that pays well,” Alona countered, counting off each point on her fingers. “And yes you’ve been unlucky with landlords, but you’re resilient, you remember everyone’s birthdays, you’re smart as hell, you’re an incredible problem solver, and you’re an awesome mom to an asshole cat that everyone else hates.”
Maybe it was the stress of the day, or maybe the pregnancy hormones were kicking in already, but I started to cry again.
“You really don’t think I’m a fuck-up?” I asked tearfully.
“Not at all,” Alona said firmly. “You created that narrative in your head a long time ago, I suspect, but now it’s time to rewrite it. You’re going to have a baby to look after soon, and that kid deserves to have a mother who sees her own worth.”
We sat in silence for a while before Alona spoke again. “What are you going to do about the Michael situation?”
“I don’t know. I’m so confused.” I dropped my head down onto the table, suddenly exhausted.
“You’re confused about what to do about him and his sudden declaration of love, or you’re confused about how you feel about him?” Alona asked.
I considered her question, opening my mind and letting my feelings flow through me without trying to talk myself out of anything. It was time to be honest and bring things out into the open. I’d been avoiding my feelings long enough.
“I love him,” I said quietly. “I have for a long time, but I really thought Michael only saw me as a friend and someone to fool around with. I’m just worried that he’s telling me he loves me now because of the baby.”
“If you thought he only saw you as a friend, you’ve been blind. It’s been plain as day to all of us that Michael is in love with you, and has been for some time,” Alona said. “That’s why Mama keeps pushing him to marry you.”
Just then Jayden came up from the basement, detouring to grab a water from the refrigerator.
“Even Jayden noticed that Michael has feelings for you, and he’s mostly clueless.” She sent her husband a teasing smile.
“It’s true, the dude has it bad for you,” Jayden confirmed.
“By the way,” Alona said. “Olga is sleeping over so you’ll need to stay in the guest room.”
Jayden didn’t miss a beat. “Okay then, good night girls.”
I really liked my brother-in-law. He was generally affable, treated my sister well, and never resented the closeness she had with me. I appreciated that a lot. We’d both dated guys in the past who had issues with us being so close.
After Jayden left, Alona and I talked for a little while longer, then she loaned me a pair of sweats and we cuddled up in her bed together, the same way we’d done a million times over our lives. Then we watched re-runs of Modern Family until we both fell asleep.
