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“I’ve seen documentaries that started exactly like this.”

I laugh because she’s too fucking funny without even trying. The fact that she’s completely serious makes it even better.

“You’re making yourself paranoid.”

“Wrong. They’re making me prepared.”

“Of course they are.”

She turns toward me, her expression deadly serious. “I watched an entire murder series last week where the victim thought he was going on a romantic getaway and ended up mixed into his spouse’s cat food.”

I stare at her.

“What the fuck would make you watch that?”

She shrugs. “It was riveting.”

“Riveting? That’s your idea of riveting?”

“It was a well-constructed murder.”

I nearly choke.

“A well-constructed murder?”

“The killer planned everything for months, right down to the taste of the cat food.”

“Love, that’s not the comforting answer you think it is.”

She shrugs again, completely unbothered. “It was educational. I learned a few things to scare Stevie with.”

“Such as?”

“Never get into a car with someone you don’t trust.”

She pauses.

“Always tell at least one person where you’re going.”

Another pause.

“And never ignore your instincts just because someone is attractive.”

I glance at her.

She glances back, her mouth twitching into a smirk that makes her look like an extremely hot supervillain.

“You ruined your own surprise,” she informs me.

I laugh so hard I have to shake my head.

“You’re fucking weird sometimes, baby.”

“And yet, you kidnapped me.”

“Surprised you.”

“Same thing.”