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Mom: How’s SK?

Artemis: Cold.

Mom: I heard you’ve been spending time with someone who might make it a little warmer.

Artemis: Stop it, Mother.

Mom: How’s Stephen? He’s so handsome, baby.

Artemis: Mother.

Mom: Yes, my beautiful little moonbeam?

Artemis: I know what you’ve been up to.

Mom: Do you?

Artemis: I do.

Mom: And?

Artemis: You will pay.

Mom:

Artemis: This is not funny.

Mom: You’re so silly, my girl.

Artemis: And you’re not nearly as clever as you think you are.

Mom: Love you too. SO MUCH.

Artemis: Goodbye, Mother.

Mom: Tell Khaos I said hello.

Artemis: I’m blocking you.

Mom: You say that every time.

Artemis: One day I will.

Mom: No, you won’t.

Mom: You love me too much to do that.

Artemis: Unfortunately.

Mom: There’s my girl.

twenty-seven

. . .

Family Group Chats Were Created By The Devil

“The greatest threat to my peace has never been strangers. It’s my family.” — A