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Ilya

Ilya: Can you come hands-free?

Dima: what

Lex: …

Ilya: just answer the question. it’s simple. yes or no.

Lex: ….

Ilya: stop sending Morse code, Lex!

Lex: …

Ilya: USE WORDS

Dima: So who touched you?

Ilya: nobody touched me. that’s literally the entire point of the question. if somebody touched me it wouldn’t be hands-free, would it??

Dima: so someone made you come without touching you.

Ilya: I DIDN’T SAY THAT. JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION

Dima: no

Lex: no

Ilya: you’re both useless. completely useless. i don’t know why i keep either of you around.

Dima: emotional support and occasional murder. we’ve been over this.

Ilya: you’re failing spectacularly at the first one.

Dima: then tell us who it was.

Ilya: there’s no who. there’s only research. scientific inquiry. peer review pending.

Dima: ilya, who was it.

Ilya: goodnight.

Lex: he came hands-free

Ilya: I DIDN’T

Ilya: I’m blocking both of you. I’m serious.

Dima: do it, then. go ahead.

Lex: you won’t

Ilya: watch me

Dima: still here

Ilya: I hate you. I hope your bouquet wilts.