Page 34

Rei watches me closely now. He isn’t the kind of person who claws at secrets once he realizes they’re stitched into living flesh. He won’t force the truth out of me just because he wants it. But I can see it in his face, the ache of wanting to know and understand why I left him.

“But I mean it. I never wanted to leave you alone.”

His fingers tighten around mine. He scans my face like he’s looking for a place to set all his questions down without breaking anything further. He doesn’t find one.

After a long moment, he sighs and nods faintly. “I just…” His voice shakes again. “I needed you, and you—”

“I wasn’t there,” I finish for him.

He closes his eyes and nods. I stand up so abruptly the chair legs scrape against the floor, circle the table, and pull him to his feet before he can protest. Then I gather him against my chest and hold him there.

He stiffens for a moment, but eventually he folds into me.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper as his hands clutch at my shirt.

He buries his face against my chest, and I wrap my arms around him tighter, one hand sliding up to the back of his head the way I used to when he was little and the world frightened him.

Now the world has gotten bigger. Crueler. And I wasn’t there to stand between him and it.

The breakfast place around us blurs into irrelevance. All of it fades under the simple fact of his body in my arms and the too-clear understanding of what my absence cost.

After a while, I feel him breathe in more evenly. His grip on my shirt loosens by degrees.

Still, he doesn’t step away, and neither do I.

When he finally tilts his face up, his lashes are damp and his voice is small in a way I hate hearing from him. “Are you going to disappear again?”

I smooth a hand over his hair and answer, “No.”

And this time, even if I still can’t tell him why I left, I make damn sure he hears the promise in how I say it.

***

Later, I drop Rei at Dimitri’s house.

He hugs me before he goes inside. Tight. I think he’s still afraid I’ll disappear. I smooth a hand over his hair. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He nods against my chest, then pulls back and wipes his eyes. “Text me when you get home.”

“I will.”

Dimitri appears in the doorway, already reaching for Rei’s hand. He gives me a look that says if I hurt him again, he will personally dismantle me, and I give him one back that says, Lay a finger on him, and you’ll be leaving this house in several inconveniently separated pieces. We nod once, concluding an agreement.

When I’m home, I strip out of my clothes, toss them over the chair, and reach for my phone.

My little prince still hasn’t answered.

I frown at the screen. He really should pay me more attention. I become a deeply unpleasant person when I’m annoyed, and historically that hasn’t ended particularly well for anyone involved.

I sigh, set the phone on the nightstand, and close my eyes.

Eventually, I fall asleep.

Dreamless.

Until it isn’t.

My eyes snap open.