Page 112
It hasn’t been ransacked. There’s no food, but it has a small propane heater.
“I’m gonna check out the shed,” Evander says.
I set my pack, bow, and quiver on the table, sit down in one of the chairs, and take out the brown-paper-wrapped chocolate Jeff gave me earlier.
When I unwrap it, I see a big bar of chocolate scored so it can be cleanly broken into four pieces, two tea bags, and a note. I read the message.
Amira,
I thought you might enjoy my spiced chai tea. My recipe includes a contraceptive that has lasted three to five months through thousands of doses. It’s delicious steeped in hot water with a splash of milk added. In a pinch, eat the loose tea and wash it down with some water. Be sure to ingest the entire bag.
Jeff
I should be laughing. But I’m not. Instead, I’m close to crying.
In the past two weeks, I’ve found myself in low places. I’ve felt hopeless, enraged, and terrified. But mostly I’ve felt very alone.
It’s amazing what I can do—the way I can not just survive, but even thrive—when I’m not locked inside my head by myself all day every day.
Maslow was wrong. Love and belonging shouldn’t come after physical needs and safety. Without human connection, nothing else really matters.
Evander comes in the cabin’s door, grinning. “You won’t believe—” He stops, drawing his brows together with concern. “What’s wrong?”
He scans the interior of the tiny cabin, his gun looking small in his huge hand as he starts to raise it.
“It’s nothing your gun can fix.” I finally manage a half-hearted laugh. “I’m just so fucking tired, in a way that has nothing to do with needing sleep.”
He locks the door and holsters his gun, waiting for me to keep going. I swipe the tears from my cheeks.
“You know what I need more than anything right now?” I say.
“What’s that?”
“A hug.”
His lips lift in a grin and he opens his arms. I stand up, a sob escaping my throat as I make my way to him.
I press myself to his chest and he envelops me, wrapping his arms all the way around me and resting his cheek on the top of my head. Every muscle in my body relaxes as I soak in his warmth.
It’s impossible to be on high alert every second. Hopefully the Deadmen aren’t going to launch a missile at this cabin and blow it up in the next five minutes, but I need a break from worrying about it.
After a full five minutes of resting against his carved-from-stone chest, I lean back and look up at Evander.
“Jeff gave me something.”
“Oh yeah?”
I nod and walk over to my bag, taking out the small, loosely-wrapped bundle. When I pass it to Evander, he smiles.
“Chocolate. Jeff’s famous for this stuff.”
“Read the note.”
He unfolds the paper and takes out the note, reading it. His gaze flicks up to mine, his expression serious.
“I didn’t know anything about this.”
“I didn’t think you did.”