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Gabe is talking my ear off as we make our way out to the parking lot.
“And it’ll be good to get the lay of the land there.” He pivots and faces me when we reach the door to his mom’s car.
“Right. Yeah. That makes sense.”
“Hey.” He uses his finger to tip my chin up. “You good?”
I shrug. “Yeah. I’m fine. It’s just a lot.”
He searches my gaze. “Talk to me. What’s a lot?”
“You. Me. Us. You leaving. I don’t know. It’s stupid.”
He shakes his head, dragging a hand through his hair. “It’s not stupid. I told you I want you to give me a chance, and now I’m leaving town. Just like that time, right?”
I bite my lip and cast my gaze to the snow-covered ground at the miserable expression he wears.
“I’m in my head is all,” I whisper.
“I really like that head of yours, you know.”
He’s being so sweet I could cry. Why can’t I just let it go and let myself enjoy him?
“I can work from the plane and get some details hammered out for the Dash if that’s helpful for you, and I’ll be back on Monday,” he adds.
“Nah, don’t worry about it. I can handle things here.”
He twists his mouth to the side. “You’ll text me if there’s anything I can do?”
“Yeah. Of course. I’ll keep you in the loop.”
Calvin’s text message feels like it’s burning a hole in my pocket. I need to bring it up to Gabe. But I hate to do that now. I don’t know when there’ll be a better time, though. I need to sort out my feelings between the two men for starters.
“What is it?” Gabe reaches out and takes my hands, squeezing them between his.
“Calvin texted me,” I blurt. “About setting up a time for the two of us to get dinner.”
Gabe blinks. “Oh.” He presses his lips together. “Right. I forgot about that.”
“Yeah.”
We stand staring at each other as the snow falls peacefully around us, ignorant of the turmoil that’s swirling inside me like a bad batch of white chicken chili.
“What do you want me to say about that?” Gabe asks quietly.
“I don’t know.” I wiggle my hands free of his and lift my arms in a shrug.
“Do you want to go out with him?”
“I don’t know.” It’s the honest truth. I want Gabe. But I want him how I want him, and his career is a wild card. Calvin is a safe bet. He’s a resident of Dasher Valley now. And the two of us work well together. I know that from past experience.
“Well then, you should go.” Gabe’s low voice is level.
I peer into his eyes, trying to gauge his reaction and feeling like a complete heel.
“I feel awful. I never should have told you I wanted to see about a future between us without sorting things out first.”
“I disagree. Maybe you need to see about a future between us to be able to sort things out,” Gabe responds. “Look, Bethy, I’m not going anywhere.”
