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“And what do you know about love?”

Sebastian’s hands tightened on the steering wheel, his gaze remained on the road.

“She was never just a business for you, huh?”

A shiver raced down my spine. I stayed silent, only clenched my teeth. It was only then that I understood—you must hide your weakness.

It was the first and last time I ever cried before Sebastian.

I could not allow him to glimpse the frailty I kept buried beneath my skin, nor the sacred place my Mina occupied within the darkest chambers of my heart.

Neither of us spoke until we reached the Loxton estate, but a somber mood hung over the car. This was my funeral, there were no sobs, no tragic wails. The urge to gouge out my eyes, to bang my head against the walls, had vanished. I had accepted I was a dead man. A ghost. A monster or something else… It no longer mattered. If Mina’s scent wouldn’t fill the empty room in my soul, nothing else mattered.

But I wouldn’t wait with my hands tied.

A real without her can’t exist. I refuse to live in such a place.

“Take me back to the committee.”

Sebastian gave me a brief glance. “You need to rest.”

“Didn’t you tell me to stop being weak? I feel strong, I want to work.”

“Son, look…”

“Take me to the fucking committee, Mr. Loxton.” I continued in the same calm voice. Sebastian didn’t object this time. I stayed at my own imaginary funeral without taking my eyes off the road, it could have been the longest journey of my life.

Is there no other way? I wanted to ask someone, for the first time in my nineteen years of life I wanted someone to guide me. But I was all alone, I had always been alone. It was my parents’ gift to me, I would always wander that haunted road lonely.

I couldn’t stop the world.

No. If Mina was not there, the world was better like this. It was time to look for another one, another dimension. It wasn’t enough to escape to the cellar room.

I had to get away from Mars.

Entering the lab room, I caught the sight of Coretta. She was sipping her coffee with one hand, and examining the test tube with the green liquid with the other.

“Oh, hey Ray.”

“Hey.”

“You okay? I heard you were poisoned.”

“I’m fine.”

She stared at me for a moment as I quickly turned on the main monitor, then ignored me and continued sipping her drink.

I sighed. That familiar chill did me good. That clinical smell, that silence—that was my beginning. I let my mind numb my heart. It triggered something, a quiet mechanism meant to fill the hollow Mina had left behind. I could feel it working now, dulling the ache, blurring the edges of grief, planning something, something big.

It was enough to survive while she was gone.

“Ray?” Coretta’s voice laced with suspicion, but I didn’t pay attention. “What are you doing? You’re not reactivating that device, are you?”

There was no answer from me. As I continued to set up the device, Coretta sternly put her glass down on the table.

“Raymond! You can’t do whatever you want! Tell me what you’re doing.”

I knew I could do whatever I wanted—I was a Loxton, after all—but I only said, “It’s none of your business.”