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“In the shower.”

“Noelle.”

“A cold shower?” I ask. “Because it didn’t sound very cold.”

Something flashes across his face. His knuckles go white where he’s gripping the towel.

“You should go back to bed,” he says.

There it is again. It’s late. Go back to bed. Goodnight, Noelle. Like I’m being dismissed.

Every time he gets close, he does this. Puts something between us. A rule. A wall. A polite little sentence that sounds like a door closing.

And I suddenly understand.

He didn’t pull away downstairs because he didn’t want me.

He pulled away because he does. He does want me.

My heart is pounding so hard I can feel it in my fingertips.

I could go back to my bed.

I could say goodnight and walk back down the hall, and tomorrow we’d be careful. Polite. Thirteen years and seven months of careful and polite, both of us lying awake twenty feet apart.

I let go of the dresser.

“No,” I say.

He goes very still.

“I don’t think I will.”

“Noelle—”

“You said my name.”

His throat moves. A droplet of water slides from his hair down the side of his neck, and I watch it. His throat bobs with his swallow.

“You said my name,” I say again, quieter. “Just now. In there.”

He doesn’t deny it. He just looks at me with those dark eyes, steady and miserable and hot enough to scorch. “I know,” he says.

The two words are rough and bare.

I swallow. “Downstairs,” I say. “Were you going to kiss me?”

A long pause. “Yes.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Because you didn’t marry me for that.” His voice is low and fierce. “You married me for Shiloh. For security. I promised you there would be no expectations. I put it in writing. I’m not going to be the man who brings a grieving woman into his house, pays her to be there, and then decides he wants more because she’s—” He stops.

“Because she’s what?”

His jaw works. “You don’t owe me anything. Not your time. Not your body. Not a goddamn thing. I need you to understand that. If you walk out of this room right now, nothing changes. You’ll still have your home. You’ll still have Shiloh. I’ll never bring this up again.”

He means it.