Page 36

Good grief, I was in trouble.

Chapter Fifteen

Kieran

It was just a hug. Right? Absolutely no reason to get worked up. People hugged each other all the time. Normal. No big deal.

Then why did I feel like I’d been hit with an electric current, my body buzzing where we’d touched?

All the next day and into the day after, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I worked on professional development classes and applied for jobs, thinking of Ellis the whole time. I thought of him when I was alone and when the three of us were having dinner. And worst of all, when I took Lena to another library meeting, I thought of Ellis, which is what I found myself doing when Lena leaned over and nudged me to get my attention.

“Hmm?” I murmured.

“Olivia was just asking if you’re sure you can’t be persuaded to join the committee.”

Immediately, butterflies filled my stomach, the same way they had when I’d felt Ellis’s warm body pressed against me. Okay, this is getting out of hand. I looked up at Olivia and shook my head slightly to clear my thoughts. “Sorry. I…” I took a deep breath and decided to go for it. “You know what? Sure. I’d love to help.”

“That’s great,” Olivia declared from the front of the room. She clapped her hands together once in excitement.

“But,” I said, holding a hand up to pause her before she got too wound up, “only help. I’ll give opinions here and there and participate as much as I can, but I’m not able to commit to more than that.”

But you could, a little voice said in the back of my mind. It’s not like you’re busy doing anything else. I swallowed that thought and gave Olivia a bright smile.

“Not a problem,” she said. “We’re delighted to have your help any way we can get it. You’re a professional, after all.”

I shrugged modestly and smiled again.

The conversation continued then, Olivia showing us the final two floor plans to vote between. I was pleasantly surprised to see that they’d taken some of my advice from the previous meeting and the layouts were much better. Ultimately, we voted on the plan that put the computers near the entrance for easy community access and the youth sections near the front as well.

As the meeting wrapped up, my thoughts drifted back to Ellis. Was he as twisted up as I was over this whole hug thing? Probably not. He was probably totally normal and way more chill.

When Lena and I got back into the car, she turned to me. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Nothing.” I could hear the defensiveness in my tone.

“Okay, weirdo. You just seem… distracted.”

“I’m not.” I’m just trying to accept my attraction to your hot older brother. Like that conversation would go well. I suppressed the urge to snort in disdain.

A moment of tense silence passed between us before she changed the subject. “So you’re in on helping with the library, huh?”

“Yeah, I think so. I… to be honest, I kind of miss it. Working.”

She reached over and squeezed my arm. “I get that. Maybe this is a good way to dip your toes back in. See if you still want to do design work. You’ve been with me for a few weeks now, and I’m not rushing you out, but at some point you’ll need to figure out what you want to do next.”

“I know. I’m just not sure who I am, if I’m not a designer. I love the work. I just don’t know if I want to go back to reality TV.”

“That’s totally understandable.” She paused for a second. “Well, Olivia and the rest of the committee are more than happy to have your assistance, whatever you can give.”

I nodded. “I appreciate that.”

“Especially now that my ankle is mostly better and I don’t have to rely on you for a ride next week.”

“I’m glad you’re on the mend. That baking side business you have is no joke. You’re way more talented than I’ll ever be.”

“Practice is all it takes. And a little bit of willingness to experiment.”

“And a solid understanding of food chemistry.”