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“Don’t you dare fucking lie to me! I can see it in your eyes,” he yells. “I tried to stay away, to give you and Dash a life this last year in New York. But I can’t anymore,” he grits out like he’s in pain. His breath fans against my lips and I moan as his hold on my neck intensifies. He pushes my head back, letting go. “I don’t owe you an explanation. I make the fucking rules. And you’ll obey them.”

All I can do is nod. I don’t even know who the fuck I am when I’m with him, so let alone trying to figure out my heart. I tried to do it in New York, but Dash was as confused as I was after everything that happened with the wedding.

“You’re not worth the risk anyway. I’m not going to destroy everything for a whore,” he states, and it feels like my chest is being ripped open. Tears fill my eyes as he turns around wading through the water, the muscles in his defined back rigid. I stare at his back tattoo, every black line wet from the water and sweat. I let out a frustrated groan, making him hesitate, but he straightens his spine and keeps going.

He pushes off from the side and I watch him get out the water, his tight ass beautifully tattooed. Each cheek decorated with intricate flowers, except the crack. My dick swells painfully in response. In China they have a saying: a one means top and zero means bottom. I’ve never thought about it if I would be a one or a zero. Would I be the one to take someone, or would I be the one who would spread himself open for him to get what he wants. I run both hands over my face, wiping at the water and rain. A fantasy of him pressing me down against the sheets of my bed while I struggle to get free makes me hard as the knives I use every day. So, does that make me a zero?

“Fuck,” I swear. The man is a walking piece of art. One that’s out of my reach. One I’ll never own and who will never belong to me. Moon grabs a towel and secures it around his hips. He turns in my direction, while running a hand through his wet hair, the V-line disappearing down makes me bite on my bottom lip.

We keep staring at each other as the steam fills the air. “I’m going to take a shower,” he says, his voice thick and hard.

I let myself disappear under the water and wait a couple minutes before I exit the pool. I push through the door leading to the shower room and he’s standing in front of his locker checking something on his phone.

He gives me a look of pure disgust while I hide my junk behind the towel I grabbed on my way in. Two guys from the Osaka chapter pass us on the way to the Onsen outside; they bow and give me a nod. Behind them is Yuki. He smiles at me, his eyes trailing down my chest I try to cover with my arms. The look in his eyes changes the moment they land on Moon. He bows. “Sir,” he says in greeting.

“Yuki,” Moon grunts, as he slams the locker closed and Yuki winks at me before heading outside, but not before tapping a finger on my chest. “Send me a text if you reconsider.”

I step back, my spine slamming into the lockers with a thud.

Moon swears under his breath as he passes me, slamming the shower door shut. Most of the time they’re open, but not this place. I stare at the closed shower stall and listen to the faucet turning on.

The door opens again and Yuki hovers in the doorway. “Oh yeah, and Eliot?” He flashes me a naughty smirk and stares at my chest. He licks his lips while trailing his eyes up to my face. I know he only likes the way I look. I’m nothing but another guy he can conquer. “You need a hand?” he asks, motioning to the bulge pressing against my towel. He takes a step closer and runs his hand over it.

I quickly take a step back while he smiles. What the hell is that look in his eyes? I shake my head, staring at him while he scratches the back of his head, his short hair standing up a little.

“Too bad, I always like to watch you come,” he says winking at me. “If you want to go another round like last time, I’ll bring another bottle to the party,” he says. “I know how much you liked it before,” he says pressing his lips against my ear and flicking my nipple. “You came so hard I almost choked on your cum. Endo enjoyed the show too.”

Snarling, I push him away from me, and he turns around laughing, letting the door fall closed behind him. I clutch at my neck. Why is it suddenly hard to breathe? Maybe because that night is one big blur. I still don’t understand what happened, so how can I explain it to Moon. One moment I was drinking in the room with Yuki, Endo, and a couple of his guys, the next thing I know Yuki was on his knees in front of me while he pushed me back against the leather of the couch tugging my slacks down to my ankles while Endo pretended to sleep on the couch next to us with his hand in his pants. I can’t remember much from that night, only his bobbing head and the splitting headache I had for the next two days. I’d never been that out of it from booze or the drugs I tried before.

I hear a crash in the shower stall Moon disappeared into, like he slammed his fist against the door. “I’m probably imagining it,” I convince myself as I walk to the stall next to him. I hang my towel over the door, trying to shake off the uneasy feeling Yuki left behind.

“Damn it,” I say to myself. I fucked up. I know I should have never let him go down on me. I wasn’t ready. I collapse against the closed door, locking myself in the shower stall, waiting for my growing hard-on to go down while I listen to Moon taking a shower. That’s when I notice the tear in the wall giving me a glimpse of the man rubbing a piece of soap over his chest. I hold my breath. We’re all alone, the only sound coming from both our showers. He probably didn’t notice I locked myself in the stall next to him as steam fills the air above the open stalls. I can’t resist pressing my body against the cold tiles to watch him through the crack. Fuck, I know I shouldn’t but the way his ass is gleaming from the water has my dick taking notice.

He turns around and presses his forehead against the tiles while the water cascades down his back. His long hair hangs in wet streaks in front of his face. He rests both hands against the wall, his chest heaving. The muscles in his back strain as he balls his fists, pounding the wall over and over. Is he angry? He looks up and stares in the direction of the crack in the wall.

I stumble back and rest my back against the cold tiles. I need to calm down. I turn the faucet to scorching hot, letting the stream rain all over me. Taking a deep breath, I trail my hand down my stomach and to my erect cock. Slowly stroking myself, hating that I’m thinking about the man taking a shower next to me. I fight against the urge to look through the crack again. Resisting still as he turns off the shower and the door slams closed.

I let go of my dick and close my eyes, laying the back of my head against the cold tiles and willing my erection to go down, turning the shower to ice cold. I grab a bar of soap and turn my face in the direction of the stream. I have my back to the door when I hear it open. Didn’t I close it?

I place both hands against the wall, letting the water soothe my skin. “I’m not in the mood, Yuki,” I toss over my shoulder. I let out a cry when he grabs me by the neck and presses my front against the cold wall.

“Let me go,” I bite out, letting the bar of soap drop on the floor. I stare down and my breath catches in the back of my throat. Yuki doesn’t have tattoos all over his legs. I would recognize those black lines from miles away.

“Don’t say his name,” he sneers, the venom incinerating my skin. “And why are you standing under an ice-cold shower?” he asks, turning the faucet. I sigh when warm water hits my face. I can feel the anger radiating from his body as he towers over me. He stills and presses me against the wall with his chest, while laughter fills the air as the guys walk back into the shower room. “El,” Yuki calls out. The grip by Moon on my neck intensifies. He presses his mouth against my ear and whispers, “Fucking answer him.” His breath is hot against the shell of my ear; his fingers are digging into my skin and holding me in place against his body.

“Yes?” I croak out, ignoring how close Moon is standing behind me, and the way he pushes my arm up to link his hand over mine. If I’d lean back, I bet I could feel the ridges of his chest, and the outline of his dick. Is he wearing a towel? He pinches me again, fuck it hurts, but also feels too good. I let out a startled soft moan while Moon makes a shushing sound in my ear. He pushes a finger against my lips, and I have the urge to kiss or bite it.

“Do you need company?” Yuki asks, his voice inches from the door. My eyes flash to the lock over Moon’s shoulder. Thank fuck he closed it. The door rattles and I gasp when Moon pushes a leg between mine, widening my stance. “Answer him,” he orders, his voice so low, goosebumps cover my arms.

“No,” I reply, not being able to keep the tremble from my voice.

Yuki taps his knuckles against the door. “Too bad, catch you next time.” I hold my breath, listening until the footsteps disappear.

“There will be no next time,” Moon growls out, pushing me hard against the wall. I try to break free while he grins.

“Let me go,” I plead the moment he spreads my arms wide and tells me to hold on to the wall. “Stop it, Moon,” I plead, resting my cheek against the cold surface, my nipples hardening because of the cold rough wall. Moon grabs the bar of soap from the floor and starts to lather my arms with it. His fingers glide over my feverish skin. He even runs them through my hair, over my shoulder, down to my right arm. I push back when he moves his hands down my waist, his hands lingering on my hips. My butt brushes his thigh, while he growls in response. I can feel the coarse fabric of the towel wrapped around his waist.

“You let him touch you like this?” he asks, his voice strained as he trails the bar over my pecs. “Is that why you haven’t come to me this last year? I was waiting for you. But I guess I have to take what’s mine again.”