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“Who is this referring to?” Cutting right to the chase, I see.

“I can take it from here.”

Rennix goes right over me, reading the status out loud. I can’t help but wince, closing my eyes and covering my ears, not that it makes a lick of difference. I can still hear what he’s saying, and it takes only two words to realize it’s not one of my MySpace statuses.

It’s his.

10

RENNIX

MySpace status also = confession time but make it cryptic and again, emo

“Are those the lyrics to that Vertical Horizon song? I can’t think of that name but…” Lia interrupts herself to start humming. She’s so out of tune. It’s not only adorable, it’s a welcomed distraction to the thrashing my pulse has created in my ears.

I knew when I made my offering, life as I knew it would never be the same. It didn’t deter me. Nor did it scare me. I did what I did out of necessity, and I’d do it again, as many times as needed if it meant it would bring me to this exact moment, hearing her hum and half sing lyrics she barely knows with a level of confidence I always admired about her.

“Yes, it’s ‘Everything You Want.’”

“Knew it.”

“I could tell.”

She clicks her tongue, bashfully. “Shut up. I’m an excellent hummer, don’t you dare.”

“I never said you weren’t.”

“You didn’t have to. I have ears too, you know. I heard how horrible I sounded. But typical Rennix always has to be sweet.”

My chest tightens, similar to how it used to when I was out of this simulation and would be on the verge of having an anxiety attack. I don’t get those in here anymore. Now that I come to think of it, I don’t feel much of anything anymore.

I’ve been going through the motions, that is until she came barreling in.

“What does it mean?” she asks. It’s the way she says it, barely above a whisper, with the faintest crackle to her voice, that makes my chest not only tighten but has my heart rattle along with it.

“Can’t say.” I sound cool and collected. Not sure how that’s possible since the room feels like it’s getting smaller by the second. I keep talking, trying to keep that momentum. “I thought that was the whole point of MySpace statuses, to keep them deeply personal and highly vague all at once.”

“It was, but that’s not what it wants.”

“I liked the song, that’s all.” As soon as the words slip from my mouth another prompt is generated. Again, asking who the status is about, and again the answer is Natalia. Every status, every vague post, every song lyric that ever resonated with me, was always because of her. In fact, I have an entire playlist of songs on my iPod that I still listen to that makes me think of her.

This keeps happening, until we reach our fifth prompt, and it’s her turn.

“I never thought I’d say this, but thankfully it’s my turn to embarrass myself. I think we’ve overstayed our welcome.”

I’m about to ask what she’s referring to, but the walls I thought were closing in were, in fact, closing in. Her room now reduced to a fraction of the size it was.

As she said, it’s her turn to read her status and the pattern of emo song lyrics rages on. Except hers might have taken the cake.

“Slipped Away” by Avril Lavigne plays in my head as she reads off a portion of the chorus.

The walls don’t shift anymore, but they might as well have with how crushed I feel. For her. For me. For both of us.

She reads the prompt’s question out loud. “When did you post this?”

She peels her eyes off the screen. This is the only time in all that I’ve known her that I wished she wouldn’t look at me.

The pain in her irises cuts through me like a knife.