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I cough a laugh. “No.”

“You don’t want to be my personal assistant?”

I glance over at Noah, who’s gathering up his gear, not knowing he’s about to be forced to give up the only thing he’s ever loved. My eyes begin to sting again. Because I am such a fuckup. And Noah deserves so much better. So does Mom.

I am bad luck. By the nature of simply being in my life or being related to me, I’ve ruined their lives too. And I can’t do that to Austin. I can’t pass on whatever bad juju I was born with.

But then again… “You’re really willing to pay me two hundred and fifty dollars a day? For feeding a bird?”

“And other tasks, like…grocery shopping and…stuff. But, yes, two hundred and fifty dollars a day.”

“Okay,” I say after a thick swallow. “Then I guess…”

Austin steps toward me, the edges of his mouth hesitantly tipping up. As if secretly pleased.

“Can I think about it?”

CHAPTER 4

MILLIE

I brush Noah’s hair back from his forehead. “Did you have a good time today, nug?”

“It was amazing.” He leans into my touch, drowsy. After those few hours with the Thunder, he came home buzzing. He immediately redecorated his room so his newly signed baseball memorabilia was prominently displayed on his dresser and hung up on his walls. But by the time dinner rolled around, the high started to wear off, and I had to nearly carry him upstairs to get him ready for bed.

“Thanks,” he says around a yawn.

“Thanks? What are you thanking me for?”

He burrows into my side. “Being my mom. Being the best mom.”

I sink farther down into his bed and wrap my arm around him. My sweet boy. I am not the best mom, but I’ve been trying.

God, have I been trying.

Which is why I haven’t been able to think of anything else since Austin offered me a job. Out of nowhere.

I’m still not sure if I’m going to take it or not, but even the offer is enough for me to keep from having the conversation with Noah tonight. I had planned on breaking the news gently to him—that I don’t have the money to pay for him to play anymore. But then Austin Ashwood and his mesmerizing eyes came along, practically dangling free money in my face.

Saving me.

For at least today.

This minute.

“I love you so much, buddy.” I brush my lips across his forehead, toying with strands of his wheat-colored hair. “I’m glad you had fun today.”

He hums contentedly, and I know it won’t be long before he’s asleep. There haven’t been many nights, if any, that I haven’t stayed with him until he’s fallen asleep. When he was a baby, I was so paranoid about anything happening to him that I didn’t let him out of my sight. Then his toddler years came with sleep regression, and I spent so many nights on his floor, I think I permanently damaged my back. And as he grew older, it became a habit, my lying with him every night.

It’s quiet, just the soft crackle of his sound machine and the aurora borealis lights reflecting on his ceiling. I stare up at the changing colors, thinking back to how I arrived at this moment in my life.

I recall memories of growing up in this house as the only child of my parents. My nose stings at the memory of my father’s funeral, his death caused by a hit-and-run when he was crossing the street. I was only twelve then, leaving me with Mom, who worked hard as a librarian, providing so much with what little she had. Only so I could go to senior week with my friends and lose my virginity to a guy I never planned on seeing again and turning up pregnant a few months later, after I’d just started college. I’d passed out and was taken to the emergency room, where they did a test. I was four months pregnant and didn’t know it. I ended up dropping out of school so I could start working to take care of my child.

While it hasn’t been easy, it has been mostly wonderful.

And once Noah is asleep, I slip out of his bed, heading downstairs. The house is a small, old row home with creaky floorboards and in desperate need of a paint job, but that is on the bottom of the to-do list. By the time I shuffle into the kitchen, Mom has already cleaned up and put leftovers away. I told her I would clean up because I don’t want her overdoing it.

Which is probably why she did it. To prove she still can.