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His hands are fists at his sides, and his whole body is vibrating with restraint. “I’m not lying to you now. You fucking terrify me, Laine.”
“Good.” I throw it back at him because I refuse to feel sorry for a man who destroyed me. “You should be terrified. Because I’m done being something men pass around when it’s convenient.”
“That’s not what you are to me.”
“Really? Because that’s exactly what you told Ryker. A tight little cunt. A mouth you enjoyed while it lasted. That’s a woman being passed around, Rhett. That’s exactly what my father trained me to be, and you fucking proved him right. But I refuse to be that for either of you. So fuck you and get out of my goddamn way.”
His whole face changes, and for a second, he looks like a man being gutted with a sharp blade.
“Just let me explain, Laine.” His voice is low, and the sadness in his handsome face makes me want to hold him, but I’m stronger than that. “And when I’m done, if you still want to disappear, I’ll make it happen. I’ll give you what you need and risk everything to let you leave.”
I stare at him. The most controlling man I’ve ever met is offering to let me go.
“You have five minutes before I get on the next bus.”
“Elise was my daughter.”
The words don’t land right. I hear them but my brain won’t process them because they don’t fit into anything I’ve believed for the past two weeks.
“The name on your chest.” I say it slowly. “You told me—I asked you if you loved her and you said—”
“I do still love her. Very much. She was my baby girl, Laine. She was three months old when she died.”
My legs go weak and I grip the strap of my backpack to stay upright. His daughter.
“What happened to her?”
“My wife happened to her.” His jaw is clenched so tight I can see the muscle jumping. “Elizabeth. We had an arranged marriage. I didn’t love her, and I stopped pretending I did. After she had Elise, she got sick. The doctor called it postpartum depression. She stopped eating, stopped sleeping, and I believed the doctor when he told me she was doing better.”
“Rhett—”
“I came home, and she’d drowned my daughter in the bath.” The words come out flat and dead and I can see what it costs him to say them. “Then she swallowed a bottle of pills and killed herself in the bath with my baby girl. Ryker was at school when it happened. I came home and went to the nursery to spend time with Elise, but what I found . . .”
“Oh my god.” I press my hand over my mouth. The bus station blurs around me and all I can see is this man standing in front of me telling me the worst thing I’ve ever heard. The cameras in his house. The way he flinches when I mention children. It’s all making sense, and tears sting my eyes at the realization of what he’s been through.
“Three weeks after the funeral, I got a vasectomy.” He holds my stare and his hands shake. “I couldn’t have more children. I couldn’t risk that pain. I don’t deserve the opportunity to be a father again after I failed her. It was my job to protect her—I couldn’t do it again.”
“I’m so sorry that happened, Rhett.” My voice comes out raw. “But it’s not your fault.”
“I have wanted you since the second you climbed into my car, Laine.” His eyes are red and he swallows hard. “The Council demands an heir. If I can’t do it, they’ll take you and give you to someone who can breed you. And they’ll come for me and Ryker. I don’t give a fuck about myself, but I can’t let them take you or hurt Ryker. You two are all I fucking have.”
“So that’s why you still insisted that I had to be with Ryker.” I say it as it clicks into place. “Not because you didn’t want me. Because you physically can’t give the Council what they demand.”
“Yes, baby.” He takes a step closer and I don’t stop him. “I hurt you and said those things because I needed you to hate me.” His voice is barely holding. “I was worried that even if we continued as we were, it would make you miserable. That loving me was destroying you. So I wanted you to be angry, so you’d keep fighting to stay alive, even if hating me is what it took.”
His words make my blood boil, and all I can see is red. “I do fucking hate you. Why the fuck should I believe anything you’re saying right now?” I shove his chest with both hands, and he doesn’t move an inch. “How do I know this isn’t another game? You’re good at those. You’re really fucking good at getting me to be your fucking good girl and do what you want. And you chase me down to tell me what? That we still can’t fucking be together? That you enjoyed fucking me enough that you might have married me but it’s still not possible.”
I pound my fists against his chest, sobbing. “I hate you, Rhett. I fucking hate you so fucking much.”
He grips my wrists and holds them out to the side. “Goddamn it, Laine. I love you, don’t you see that, baby? I fucking love you. I’m going to get the vasectomy reversed. No one is going to marry you, but me, little one. Dane and Tate Sinclair are waiting for us on the jet, and Dane is going to make sure that I’m the one who will be marrying you.”
“You love me?” I yank my wrists free and shove him again. “You have done nothing but control me and when things start to feel real, you hurt me. Is that your version of love, Rhett?”
“I’m sorry, baby.” He lets me shove him. He lets me hit him. He takes every word because he knows he’s earned them. “I caused this to happen. I set up the arrangement with the Council that started all of this. But I don’t regret any of it, because you are who I’ve been waiting for. I have never loved another woman. I’ve never even truly kissed another woman until you. You are it for me, Laine. I know I fucked up, and I will spend every day reminding you that you are mine.”
“Every day.” I press my fists against his chest and hold them there. I’m done hitting him. I’m not done being angry, but I’m done hitting him because no matter how many times I say otherwise, I love this man. And I want him more than anything I’ve ever wanted in this entire fucking world. “You are mine. Every fucking day for the rest of your life, Rhett.”
“I can promise you that.” His hands find my face again. “Every fucking day, little one.”
