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I scuttle away, knowing our atrocity is in good hands. If anyone can salvage it, Magda can.

“Hi!” I say much too boisterously, hugging Ryan and then Samantha. Neither hug me back. Their eyes slide to Jonathan as if to ask what’s wrong with me. He just chuckles with a shrug. “Come in. We’re so happy you’re here.”

“Hi, Sadie,” Samantha finally says. “It’s so good to see you again.”

The last time I saw her, I was covered in her son’s blood, screaming at her husband. The hug may have been a little too much.

We enter the sitting room, which is decorated for the season in russet reds, golden yellows, and various shades of orange.

Dang. We should have made a pumpkin pie. But wait, they never eat it. Maybe she’s allergic. I hope she’s not allergic to apples. Jonathan would’ve said something.

“Sadie?” Jonathan rescues me from my inner freak-out. He takes hold of my hand and squeezes. He knows. I blink back to the present and produce my picture-ready smile. He leans in and whispers, “Relax, love. You’re doing great.” He brushes a kiss against my cheek.

I let out a breath and settle back into myself, reducing the wattage of my smile. “We made this really great drink that kind of tastes like Butterbeer from Harry Potter, if you want to try it?”

“That sounds delicious. Thank you,” Samantha says.

“Sure,” Ryan responds, a man of few words like his brother. He actually looks more and more like Jonathan. The wavy dark hair, except it flops over his eyes, covering the hazel green-blue shade he got from his mother. He’s so tall now. I can’t believe he’s in high school.

Jonathan’s kept in touch over the past few years. They visited him a couple times at Penn State, but this is the first time seeing them in Hollis. Our house, Collin’s and the garage are the only places Jonathan feels safe. It took him two years to return to our hometown. I tried to convince him to never come here again. Hal’s still walking the streets of Hollis, despite my father’s vow to prosecute him. And I don’t want to give him another opportunity to fulfill his promise.

Jonathan swears he isn’t afraid of him. He used to be able to lie to me without me knowing. Not anymore.

When I return with the drinks, Collin’s sitting in a chair next to Ryan. “What are you doing?” I ask him. He promised to wait in the movie room. I wanted it to be just Jonathan and me for this visit, fearing Collin would say something stupid and ruin it.

Samantha gives me an odd look. I smile. “I mean, I didn’t get you a drink. But you know where everything is in the kitchen, right?”

“Right.” He winks at me like he decoded a secret message. “I’ll be right back.” I want to roll my eyes. It wasn’t that hard to figure out what I was saying.

Ryan and Jonathan are in deep discussion about basketball and the teachers Ryan has.

I reach into my pocket, my cue to Jonathan. He notices, thankfully, and sits back up, taking hold of my hand.

“Sadie and I have something we want to share with you,” Jonathan begins.

“Pie!” Collin announces, carrying a tray of small plates. I widen my eyes, silently screaming at him to go away. This message he does not decipher. Jonathan rubs a hand over his forehead. Our clueless best friend continues, “Look how amazing this looks.”

And it does. The slices are on their sides, so all that can be seen are the layers of apples; a perfectly miniature scoop of cinnamon ice cream is on the edge of the plate by the point of the pie. And swirled whipped cream topped with mint leaves covers the bumpy ridge of crust.

“Sadie and Jonathan made it themselves. With love. For you. And each other. Because they do. Love each other very much. And you. They love you too.”

Jonathan stands up and puts a hand on Collin’s shoulder. “Thanks, man. Appreciate it.”

Collin waits for everyone to react. He finally realizes he screwed up. “Sorry,” he mouths to us. Then says, “I forgot my drink. I’ll be back in 2…” Jonathan gives him a quick shake of the head. “Five?” Jonathan nods. “Five minutes.”

“Is he acting weirder than normal, or is it just me?” Ryan asks, digging into the pie. “Holy shit.” He almost chokes on it.

I cringe.

“This is awesome,” he finally says after swallowing and taking a drink. “You seriously made this?”

“Sadie picked the apples yesterday,” Jonathan says, rubbing my back.

This isn’t going as planned. My hands are sweaty. I watch Samantha take a forkful, and her face brightens when she tastes it. I, however, can’t eat a single bite.

Jonathan’s hand tightens around my thigh when I start bouncing it. There’s a reason we were waiting until after to eat the pie. The ring is nearly too tight to fit over my sweaty knuckle when I reach into the pocket to slide it on. I have to use my right hand to assist, grappling with it through my skirt.

Everyone’s staring at me. Samantha appears concerned. Ryan is about to start laughing. And Jonathan just presses his lips together, like he’d help me if he could, but knows I’ve done this to myself.