Page 5

“Jonathan.”

“He’s not a stranger anymore,” the brunette declares. “Let’s go.”

I escort them all out the door that Terin holds open. She mouths, sorry, again. I just shake my head with a quirk of my mouth, figuring I can tuck them all in a cab and be on my way.

Except they keep walking. And they’re walking toward the pier—where I live. Great.

“You don’t have to walk us back,” Terin insists as the girls sing Christmas songs off-key and perform strange dance moves in a circle around us. Except the blonde, who I think is named Nicky. She’s still clinging to me with everything she’s got. Her eyes are slitted, and she sounds like she’s snoring—standing up. Impressive. I’m braced for the moment she falls over. So far, her feet still work.

“It’s okay. I live this way too.” I tell Terin, who’s keeping pace with me. Her shoulder brushes my arm, and I inhale the scent of something exotic and unfamiliar. Unfamiliar is good.

“Are you hoping we don’t walk into the same building as you?” There’s a glint of teasing in her dark eyes.

I give her a playful raise of my brows. “I’m not going to say it.” She laughs.

“We’re here visiting our friend, Kelly.” She points to the second building down. “Is that where you live?”

I shake my head. “I’m further down.”

“I bet you’re more relieved than she is drunk.” She nods to her friend. A chuckle escapes, surprising me.

When we get to the door, the girls proceed to buzz every button before the door finally disengages, with residents swearing and yelling at them to knock it off through the speaker. Terin offers to take the blonde, Dawn, off my arm. “You don’t want to come in, do you?”

I thumb behind me. “I’m gonna keep going.”

“I’m not staying here,” she tells me. “I rented a place in that building.” She motions to the one across the street. “I need my space. And… privacy.” She produces a smile of invitation.

We lock eyes. “Where are you from?”

“Kansas City. Only here for the weekend.” She studies me, trying to see past the fortress that keeps everyone out. Except it’s been crumbling all day, and the numbness subsided long ago. I need something, anything to distract me. To keep me from feeling too much.

In a silent exchange, we both recognize what this is and will never be.

“Meet you over there, in…”

“Ten minutes,” Terin finishes for me, weighed down by Dawn’s slumped body.

“Hey! Help me out here!” I hear Terin yell up the stairs as I saunter down the street, before crossing over toward my building.

I don’t do this. Not in… a very long time. And I was a teen then. But I need to get out of my head. Out of my heart—it keeps spasming like it’s being shocked with a live wire.

I need to be distracted. Desperately.

I stare at the twinkle lights slowly flickering on and off in a random, mesmerizing pattern. I press my shoulder against Collin’s and squeeze his hand. “We need to go find him. He can’t be alone today.”

“You know where he is.”

I sit up. “Then let’s go.”

Collin’s eyes dip. I know that look. He feels sorry for me. He thinks I’m being pathetic and need to get a grip on reality.

“I don’t think you’re being pathetic.”

“Did I say that out loud?” I ask. Not the first time my thoughts have escaped my mouth.

“No. I know you. And that’s not why.” Collin sits up to face me. “Today isn’t only about Jonathan. You were there too. Are you sure you’re not deflecting?”

“Deflecting? Did you change your major and not tell me?” I’m sure I am deflecting. It’s easier to think of Jonathan and what he needs. It always has been. I only need him.