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“No more autographs,” Collin announces, with his hands in the air like he’s holding back masses of swoony girls. There are only five. “We need to get our boy here to his next photoshoot. Thanks for coming. Look for his appearance on a shopping bag nearest you.”

Collin sets a hand on Jonathan’s shoulder and steers him to the other end of the mall.

“Not what I signed up for,” Jonathan grumbles, running a hand through his hair.

“Sorry.” I scrunch my face.

“Not on you,” Jonathan says, hugging me against his side. “I saw the money they were offering and signed the contract. Didn’t think about the after.”

“You’ve ruined the mall for me for life! Now I need to self-medicate with Annie’s. You’re buying.”

Hey! Where are you going?” Rachel asks, catching up with me as I walk out of the building. We didn’t have a team meeting today. I’m surprised to see her here.

“Oh, hi. I’m, uh, on my way to pick up some suits.”

“At the mall? I’ve been meaning to go by there to return some things. Mind if I come with?”

“I’m not going to the mall,” I tell her apologetically.

“No problem,” she says, her smile deflating. “You’re not dating anyone, right?”

I stop and slowly turn to face her. Rachel’s cheeks are flushed, and she’s about to chew off her lip. “I’m not dating anyone. I can’t…” I sigh. “Long story.”

“Oh. Totally. I just… notice how women… I just wanted to be sure. Don’t want to overstep. Sorry.”

“You’re not,” I assure her. “We’re just having fun, right? Or… are you not?”

“I am,” she says emphatically.

“Good. Because you make me laugh. And forget about the stupid things for a while. I really need that right now. But I don’t want to mislead you or anything. Casual is all I have in me.”

“You’re not. I absolutely get it. And I’m having fun too.” She covers her face. “I’m such an idiot. Wow. I can’t believe I showed up outside your work just to ask if you like me.” She peeks between her fingers. I laugh. “We’re still good?”

“Of course,” I assure her with a half-hearted smile. “There’s nothing to worry about. I’ll be honest with you. Just ask.” She nods, red flashes in her cheeks.

“I’m gonna,” she points over her shoulder, “go home and stop acting like a pathetic teenager.”

“Let’s do something tomorrow?”

I've been in a rut. A not sleeping, overthinking, self-analyzing rut. It’d be nice to be around brighter energy to shake off these shadows.

“Maybe,” she says, but her smile says yes.

It’s easy being with Rachel. She does most of the talking, sharing absurd stories that would honestly worry me if I didn’t think she was exaggerating for maximum impact. And she doesn’t ask about me. My past. She doesn’t even know where I’m from. And that works.

We didn’t make actual plans when Rachel told me to come over tonight at seven. I figured we’d decide when I got here. Rachel’s waiting for me, the screen door propped open with her hip, hugging herself to keep warm. “Hi. Come in. Can we order takeout and watch a movie? I have beer. Emma’s at Sara’s for the night. Does that sound okay? I just don’t feel up for the bar scene tonight.”

That was a lot to absorb in ten seconds, and I haven’t stepped onto the porch yet. Staying in? That sounds… intimate. Or am I overthinking it? I’m not a huge drinker, so yeah, the bar scene does get tiring.

“Sounds good,” I say as she peers up at me, her big blue eyes framed by long black lashes. They’re not real lashes. Not that I care. But she made a point of telling me a story about gluing her lid shut, and I can’t quite look her in the eye without fighting a smile. She’s always telling me some sort of story.

We order Thai, and I pick up a movie when I go get it. Rachel barely touches her meal. I don’t have a problem finishing mine while watching the action flick.

When I return her leftovers to the fridge, I grab one of the beers Rachel’s been drinking. There are three missing already. That can’t be right. She said she just bought these. She couldn’t be on her third beer. I’ve been here maybe two hours.

I don’t say anything when I return to the couch, and Rachel unpauses the movie.

“I don’t I understand what’s going on,” she admits.