Page 12 of Burning Truth

“Uh, she’s not home,” she answers without moving.

At least I know I’m at the right house. But then, where the hell is Rachel? A little heads-up about a… roommate would’ve been nice. College student sublease, maybe?

“I knocked.” I throw a thumb back at the door, like it’s at fault for me barging in. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have just walked in like that.” I keep my eyes focused on hers, pretending that she’s not gripping the towel like she wishes she was wearing armor. “I’m Jonathan.”

“Emma,” she responds, her voice faint.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Emma.” I smile, hoping I don’t come off as a creep. Maintain eye contact. Act like this happens all the time. Fuck. This is not okay. “I guess I’ll just call her. Have a good night.”

I’m out the door with my phone to my ear before Emma can reply. Except the call goes straight to voicemail. A text immediately pops up.

Rachel: Are you here? I can’t find you.

Me: At your house. I was picking you up??

The phone rings.

“Oh, shit. I am the worst. So sorry. I forgot. I meant that you should go right into the bar and not wait for me. But I told you to pick me up, so I wouldn’t have to drive. I didn’t say I’d meet you here, did I? I’m a terrible date, and it hasn’t even started.” Her rush of words is almost comical. Oddly, this mix-up doesn’t surprise me. Her forgetfulness extends beyond the conference room, apparently.

“It’s okay. I think I may have scared the shit out of Emma, though.”

“Omigod. I should’ve said something. She just moved in, and I’m not used to living with someone yet. But she’ll be fine, I promise. I’ll talk to her.” There’s a pause. “Are you… still coming?” She sounds uncertain, her voice reedy with vulnerability.

“Yeah. Heading there now.”

We’re given moments in our lives when we can choose a path. I had no idea how this choice would affect me. And if there were a moment to course-correct, it was before I walked into that house.

But I know better than anyone: we can’t take things back once they’ve been done. No matter how many times we try to rewind and wish for a different result.

I asked the girls over for tea today. After they finished laughing at me, they said, “Yes.” And they actually enjoyed the afternoon in the garden, drinking tea and eating scones and mini cakes that Magda made.

I have a feeling Magda enjoyed it too. She doesn’t get as many opportunities to prepare for gatherings like this now that Gavin and I have moved out. I’ve missed her and her amazing baking skills. I may have scared her. I practically knocked her over with a hug when I returned home for the weekend.

I’m pretty sure she misses my little idiosyncrasies. Like just now, when I insisted the girls lie on the grass with me to watch the clouds. The crowns of our heads form a circle, my hair touching everyone else’s as it spreads out on the lush lawn.

“Have you ever wished you could play a moment over and over again? Like you could live in it?”

“Wouldn’t you get bored?”