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Emma’s wearing a soft pink sundress. The color of her blushing cheeks. Her dark hair cascades in waves down her back. I can’t remember ever seeing it down.

I can’t stop staring.

“Thanks.”

This is the second time she’s taken my breath away. The first was the day we got stuck in the bathroom together—she wore a red dress with her hair up for a date with Evan. She looked sophisticated and elegant. That’s when I finally admitted to myself I was attracted to her, despite my efforts to view her as untouchable.

I definitely want to touch her now.

The scent of chocolate distracts me. I scan the kitchen, noticing the bowls and cutting board in the sink.

“Are you cooking?” Emma never cooks. Rachel would get so frustrated with our ineptitude with anything that required more than two ingredients. It’s another commonality we share.

“Um, I wouldn’t really call it cooking.” She laughs, but it sounds wrong. “It’s just brownies.”

“But you’re cooking…” And then it hits me. “For Evan.”

Of course she is. He’s still her boyfriend.

“It’s his birthday,” Emma says, fidgeting like she does when she’s nervous. “So… what are you doing here?”

I need a moment to shake off the weight on my chest. Jealousy isn’t a familiar emotion.

“I need to talk to you. It’s important.” I walk from the kitchen to the living room just as a timer sounds.

I stand in front of the window with my arms crossed, preparing myself—but I can’t think straight. I can’t believe I have to do this right now. But better to do it before Evan arrives.

Walking into this hit me hard… I rub at the splintering pain in my chest. My mind is reeling. She’s staying with him… after everything. I don’t get it. Or maybe I do, and I can’t face the truth.

“What do you need to tell me?”

Emma’s voice recaptures my attention.

“I understand why you’re still with him.” I slowly face her. My emotions have taken over, not giving a shit about the true agenda. “He really cares about you, and he’s a good guy. It doesn’t mean I like it, but I understand.”

Emma lowers herself onto the couch.

“But, Emma, you and I have both admitted that we have this inexplicable connection between us, right?” I’m trying to make sense of this. After all the late nights. The confessions. Revealing our ugliest truths.

She nods.

“We trust each other with secrets no one else knows. I can be completely honest with you about everything. I’ve never been able to do that, not even with Sadie. Have you ever told Evan about your nightmares? Your fears?”

Emma shakes her head, averting her eyes. I knew it. He’s safe. But he doesn’t really know her.

“I’ve been where you are, remember? I thought Sadie was it. But in the end, they don’t understand people like us. They never will, because they’ve never had to go through it. You and I are the same. We share a bond that’s stronger than what you think you have with Evan.”

Once he sees her for who she truly is, I’m afraid he won’t be able to accept her.

I did.

I’m not trying to hurt her; I’m trying to save her from going through the soul-crushing rejection I did. She doesn’t deserve to get her heart broken again.

“So… I’ll wait. I’m not going to force you to decide, because in the end, I know you’ll see it, too. I’ll wait because I love you, and I promised to always be here for you—for whenever you need me.”

I never intended to say those words. They’re the thoughts I grappled with while we were apart. She wasn’t meant to hear them. But now that I’ve said them, I can breathe. It’s everything I’ve been suppressing since… I don’t even know. The truth snuck up on me. She snuck up on me… completely unexpected. But I meant every word. Although I still don’t know how to make this work.

Emma might not choose me, now or five years from now.