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“You live here, right?” My tone is accusatory, not the laid-back, casual approach I just spent the past hour practicing in my head.
He nods.
“Then I’m here to see you. Because, you know, I figured it was time.”
“For what?”
I don’t know. That sentence wasn’t part of the practicing. None of this was. So I give the talking over to my heart.
“To ask why you left. I know you’re hurting. I know. And if you need space and time, I get it. But you just… left.”
“I thought it was best, considering.”
I’m assuming he means after he nearly got arrested for destroying a restaurant while fighting with my brother.
“It wasn’t. Leaving was not the best choice.”
“Was yours? Staying with Collin? That was your choice.”
“You left me!” Shit, I’m crying now. I wipe my eyes.
“You made the right choice, Sadie. You did. And I get it. Always knew, even when I tried to convince myself I deserved you. Truth is, I’m not good for you.”
“What?” He’s making it sound like I wanted him to leave. “You don’t get to say that. Not after everything we went through.”
“You should never have had to go through that. Don’t you get it? It’s my hell to live in. You don’t belong here.” He rakes a hand through his hair. “Stop texting. Stop calling. Stop showing up in my life. Stop loving me. Just let me go.”
He doesn’t understand—wherever he is, so am I.
“Block me. Take out a restraining order. But you can’t make me stop loving you.”
He sighs heavily, the weight of exhaustion pulling his shoulders down. “Please, Sadie. Let me go.”
I shake my head. “I’ll give you time. I’ll give you space. But I’ll always be waiting for you.” I take him in one last time through my blurry vision. “Always.”
I pull into the drive of the large white farmhouse, parking behind Evan’s BMW. He’s in the driveway before I get out of my truck.
“Where is she?’ I don’t ask; I demand, stepping up to meet him. “I need to see her.”
“You don’t,” Evan answers, stressing each word. “She’s safe, right here. You need to leave.”
“I’m not going anywhere until I see her.” I search the windows. The last time I saw Emma, she was in so much pain. And she could barely look at me. I have to see that she’s okay—that we’re okay. “Tell her I’m here. If she says I have to go, I will. But she needs to tell me.”
Evan takes a step towards me. I raise my hands. I’m not going there. Not with him. Not now. He eyes my split and bruised knuckles.
“I know you protected her yesterday, and it means… she means everything to me. But let me protect her now. I’ve got her.”
“I just need to see her. She was hurt, and I need to know—”
“She saw a doctor. She’ll heal. You should go.”
Evan isn’t listening to me. He’s more concerned about getting me to leave than letting me see her for myself. I’m trying so hard to keep my shit together, but I’m beginning to unravel.
“Emma!” I shout, deciding to cut him out of this. If he won’t bring her out, then she can decide for herself.
“Jonathan. Stop.” There’s an edge to his voice.
“I know she’s here,” I say, not caring what he wants. “Emma!” I probably sound unhinged. Fuck. I feel unhinged.
