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Guy

You have my attention

Luka

Wait…does this have to do with L.O.K.I. hiring Kira Blakely as your new assistant? Because he thought you’d be excited about that…

Roman

That’s definitely part of it…

I should’ve known L.O.K.I. did this intentionally. Luka’s fucking house is obsessed with all things superheroes. Of course he jumped at the chance to hire the Demonatrix.

His luck astounds me sometimes, and I’m not entirely convinced he didn’t orchestrate this whole thing just for his own entertainment. But how we got here doesn’t fix the mess I’m in, so I’ll save my conspiracy theories for another day when my life isn’t on the verge of crumbling.

Leo

Ivy here. L.O.K.I. HIRED KIRA BLAKELY TO BE ROMAN’S NEW ASSISTANT!?

Don’t worry, I’ll catch her up to speed. Please continue.

Roman

So this is a little awkward to admit, knowing Ivy and Scout are both reading this…

Leo

Roman, don’t you dare take this away from me right now. I promise I’ll be cool

Luka

Yeah, it’s not like she doesn’t already know everything anyone tells us anyway. Why do you think I ask follow-up questions now?

Roman

Right. Anyway, do you remember me telling you about that hooker?

Guy

The one with the golden snatch that made you see God? How could I forget?

Hell, I’ve been jerking off to the story you told me about that night

Leo

Whoa, TMI, dude.

Guy

Wait, did you find her?

Did she make a sex tape? Is she blackmailing you with it?

Roman

Seriously?

I swear, Guy’s imagination never ceases to amaze me. At least I can always count on my brothers to remind me that even when your life is dangling by a thread, things could always get worse. Although at least being blackmailed would sort of make sense.