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“Exactly what are you saying nope to?”
“Literally whatever you’re about to say to me.”
My jaw clenches. “I imagine you think your perpetual middle-finger, fuck-the-world vibe is cute.”
A small smile tugs at the corners of her lips as her eyes stay glued to the notebook. “I know it's cute, actually.”
Sure it is.
Bella shoots me a glare as I sit down next to her on the bench. “No, you may not join me.”
“I’ll take that under advisement,” I say dryly. “Look, neither of us wants this. But we have to—“
“I don’t have to do anything,” she shrugs. “I mean, yeah, I have to marry you so a dead pedo’s lunatic father doesn’t come after my family or yours. But beyond that?” She lifts a shoulder and goes back to her drawing.
My eyes drop to the page out of curiosity.
Ooookay.
I’m no art expert. But I’m pretty sure the figure of a man impaled on a spike, on fire, with X’s where his eyes should be, a ragged hole drawn into his crotch and a word bubble saying “Oh no! She cut off my tiny pp!!” is supposed to be—
“It’s you,” she says flatly, not looking up. “I would assume that was obvious.”
“The resemblance is uncanny,” I mutter.
“I figured the ‘tiny pp’ line was a dead giveaway.”
I sigh. “Have you ever been in a relationship before?”
A slightly amused expression crosses her face as she finally looks up at me. “Excuse me?”
“I mean, I assume from your sparkling personality that’s a cartoonishly emphatic no but I thought I’d double-check.”
She sighs dramatically. “If this is a weird incel way of asking if I’m going to be a blushing virgin on our wedding night, I have some disappointing news for you.”
“I couldn’t actually give less of a fuck about—”
“For one,” she bulldozes on, “yes, I’ve had relationships before. And two, it doesn’t matter anyway, because I’ll be spending our wedding night alone. And three, if for some insane reason I’m actually in the mood after managing to choke out the words ‘I do’ without vomiting, I’ve got a huge collection of toys that I would happily fuck, followed by literally anyone else on Earth, before I even considered you a possibility.”
She smiles sweetly and bats her eyelashes at me.
“Does that answer your question?”
I roll my eyes. “I was only asking because I can’t imagine that any sane person could deal with you long enough for it to count as a relationship.”
Her mouth tightens as she glares murderously at me.
Which brings me neatly to the real reason I walked over here to break the “ignoring each other’s existence” iceberg we’ve had going on since the other night at her great-grandmother’s house.
She gasps when my hand slams down on her knee, keeping her in place.
“You think like me, little nightmare,” I growl quietly. “Which means you’ve already thought this through.”
She sighs heavily. “Thought what through.”
“Killing me. I know you’ve at least thought about it.”
Bella grins widely. “What on Earth would give you that impression?”
