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“We’re just…different.”

“Care to share an example?”

“Sure! He’s a prickish control freak with a giant stick up his ass, and I’m, you know,” I shrug. “Cool.”

Dr. Fallon chuckles. “That actually sounds pretty normal to me.”

“It does?”

She nods. “Lots of couples struggle with finding commonality, especially if they're from different backgrounds. Sometimes mismatched frames of life reference means both sides feel they can’t connect with their partner.” She eyes me. “Can I be frank?”

“Babe, it’s the twenty-first century. You can be Frank, Frank-fluid, they/them pronouns Frank⁠—”

“Britney.”

I sigh. “Yes. You can.“

“You’re someone who likes to be in control of situations.”

I clear my throat. “You sure you’re not letting our personal history influence that diagnosis?”

Her mouth twists with an amused grin. “Personal history like, for instance, you repeatedly breaking into my apartment and duct-taping me to a chair?”

“I want to point out that I did use shoelaces this time. I’d call that progress.”

I flash a wide, toothy smile and Dr. Fallon chuckles.

“Perhaps. But am I wrong to suggest that your preference is to be in control of a situation, even if you exert that control through a certain degree of chaos?”

I frown, but then I shake my head. “Well…no. Not wrong.”

“You like to have your hands on the reins. And it would seem from your control freak comment regarding your husband that he has the same need to be in charge. This is where the friction might be coming from.”

I swallow a mouthful of tea and drum my fingertips on the side of my mug.

“You’re pretty good at this, doc.”

“Why, thank you,” she smiles. “I’ve been considering doing it professionally.”

I grin. “Good one.” Then my brow furrows deeply. “But I…I mean I don’t…” I chew on my lip for a second. “I don’t always want to be in control. There are….certain situations where I think I want to give it up. Or have someone take it away from me.”

She nods slowly as the steam from her tea curls around her chin. “Would you care to elaborate?”

“Sex,” I say bluntly. “It’s really weird because you’re right, I do need to be in control most of the time. But with sex…” I shrug. “It’s the complete opposite.”

“You want to be dominated.”

My cheeks flush. “I…guess?”

Dr. Fallon smiles. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be sexually submissive, Britney.”

“But it doesn’t make any sense. I do like to be in control of my life. I make my own decisions, I navigate my own problems.” I frown. “So why the fuck do I want the exact opposite in the bedroom? Because that feels like the most obvious place where I should need to have control over things.” My brow furrows deeply. “Just because…you know…trauma shit.”

Trauma shit she and I never have and never will delve into that deeply because it doesn’t need to come out of its box, ever.

Dr. Fallon nods. “You’ve mentioned your trauma before⁠—”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”