Page 198

She nodded. “I would like that.”

She looked at the book. Then at me. Something moved in her face that she did not try to hide and did not name.

She tucked it back into her bag.

"I will go now."

"Thank you."

She nodded once and slipped another sweet into her mouth before stepping through the ward.

I watched Colsar open the door to the chamber as though he had been waiting for her the entire time. His eyes met mine and he gave a small nod.

He would care for her like his own.

I watched her fold her arms across her chest and narrow her eyes as though assessing whether he was worthy of acknowledgement.

I sighed and turned to leave. As I left the tunnels I could not help but wonder whether or not I should have had her go tell her mother first.

No. No, Asharin, I reminded myself. She cannot be trusted. No one here can.

CHAPTER 43

The Activation

Halfway to the shoreline I had to stop. A coughing fit doubled me over. By the time it passed, black spots danced at the edge of my vision. I wiped the blood from my mouth before anyone could see it.

He was at the water's edge when I arrived.

He turned before I reached him. I did not wait for him to speak.

"I need you to activate the Arrolyn," I said. "Now."

He looked at me for a long time. The dark water moved behind him and the cold came off it and I held his eyes and did not look away.

"Are you sure?" he said.

"Yes."

He was quiet. "It will change you. I have told you that before and I need you to hear it again. You may come out of it feeling things you did not expect. Things that have nothing to do with the poison or the bond or any of the reasons you think you are doing this."

"What kind of things?"

He looked at the water. "The Arrolyn was made by my mother. Whatever she built into it was built for someone who belongs to Sarenal. You do not belong to Sarenal." He paused. "But part of what you carry does. And when that part wakes up it will not know the difference between you and what it was made for."

I looked at him. "You are telling me I may develop a darkness? Or are you saying I will develop an attachment to you?”

He said nothing.

"Eravic."

"Yes," he said. "Or something close enough that I no longer know the difference."

I was quiet. The water moved. The cold pressed in from every side.

"And you?" I said. "What happens to you when it activates?"

He looked at me then. That look he had, the one that lasted just long enough for me to see what was underneath it before he put it away.